9 April 21 – Family Walk
Hope you’re having another good week.
The highlight of my week this week was a nice walk with the family.
‘NOT UP A STUPID MOUNTAIN’ teenagers shouted from the landing.
Sensing agitation at the prospect, I gave them plenty of notice. At least an hour before departure, I start lacing up my boots by the front door. That’s what those extra long boot laces are for.
The teenagers sensed my presence at the door from upstairs and became immediately enraged.
‘HOW LONG’S IT GOING TO TAKE?’ They shouted.
Lie: ‘An hour or so.’
‘AN HOUR … SERIOUSLY.’
You have to stay strong at this point because I didn’t remember saying ‘you’re walking until your legs are worn to bloody stumps.’
‘WILL THERE BE A SIGNAL?’
Lie: ‘Full coverage’
After this, there’s a period of time where I stand alone at the front door.
At a random moment, only she knows when this might be (I no longer ask) my wife joins me.
At some further point in the future…
…when time becomes a meaningless concept…
…they are ready.
‘THIS IS THE LAST TIME.’ You don’t need me to tell you this wasn’t said in a jolly way.
And so began the highlight of my week.
That’s it once again.
Just to let you know the walk didn’t get any better and I had a moral dilemma halfway round.
My family demanded a right to reply, here it is:
‘It’s Han who’s always late not me.’
‘I like walking, it’s Jen that complains all the time.’
‘Stop drawing me with those stupid dimples.’ That was my wife.
‘You’ve got dimples, so as an artist I have to tell the truth.’ That was me.
Enjoy your weekend and no arguing.
Take care and all the best,