I had to take me mam to A&E last week. 111 told her to go in, even though she didn’t want to, and she got some jollop to sort her out. Because she’s back to full strength now, I feel
Growing Old – Top Tips from the Ads
Firstly I have a confession. When I’m really really (x10) bored, I occasionally, sometimes, accidentally watch daytime TV. Please read on, I know it’s a terrible start. I haven’t given up on life, it’s usually when I’m doing VAT returns
Family Walk
Family Walk The highlight of my week is a nice walk with the family. I don’t know why it is, because, although it’s better now, I remember the teenage years, and the shadow it cast. That was some time travel
An Emergency Trip to Lidl
Me mam keeps me on my toes. As usual, late afternoon on Wednesday, we were in Keswick having coffee and scones (jam first then cream, got to be clotted) when her phone pinged and she announced: Keswick is too posh
Babies are just lazy freeloaders
I saw a documentary on bonobos and chimps the other day. They are our closest relatives, and my first thought was: why are human babies so useless? Here’s a picture of a 6-month-old chimp. Dynamic, focused, getting on with life.
Covid Strikes Again
Covid Strikes Again Diane got COVID again this week. That’s her Covid smile, very similar to her I’m-totally-happy smile only you’ll notice the dimple on the right looks a bit sadder. She’s getting better, thankfully. The problem is, we’ve been
Christingle
Christingle When the kids were teeny weeny little toddlers and we were still in our overprotective phase of parenting, we took them to Christingle at the local church, because it seemed like a Christmassy thing to do. Little did we
Lifechanging Childhood Discoveries
Just thought I tell you about a few things from my childhood that I know to be absolute fact and incredibly useful, just so they can help you in your life. Before parents cared and stairgates, stairs hurt. The word
18 August 2023 – Superpowers
I have a confession to make, I think I have superpowers. I’ve suspected for a while, especially with this first one. You see, like Electro, I can control electricity. I’ve demonstrated this to everyone else in our house and they are amazed. Here’s what
9 June – Father’s Day 2
This week I’m not going to mention Father’s Day, because I’ve been going on about it too much in the last couple of weeks. Who cares if your father looks like this, a week on Sunday? I mean him looking like
2 June 2023 – Father’s Day 1
I took a deep dive into some serious data this week, just to help you out. In 2022 retail spending on Father’s Day was estimated to be £951 million. Now I don’t expect you to spend all that at Skwiggles,
27 Jan 23 – Pregnant in the US
27 Jan 23 – Pregnant in the US Okay, anyone who’s ever been pregnant can virtually punch me in the face right now. You see, when Diane was pregnant (way back in 1999) I had a brilliant idea. I said
20 Jan 23 – Camping
20 Jan 23 – Camping I’ve camped a lot over the years but there’s only one time I thought I was really going to die. I wasn’t caught in an ice storm in the Himalayas or bitten by a Jararaca
13 Jan 23 – Prince Harry
13 Jan 23 – Prince Harry Inspired by Prince Harry, I have decided to slag my family off in public for money. Look, he’s got a book to sell and 15 million pounds to make, I have T-shirts to sell
Running Away from Home
Running Away from Home Thought I’d tell you about the time I ran away from home to live in a graveyard. I was about 6 and, yes, it took me a long time to grow into that head. I ran
A Four-Scone Day
A Four-Scone Day I took me mam on a day trip to Edinburgh last week to see my daughter, Hannah. We went by train. No, we went by four trains, three lifts, two taxis, an escalator… And yes, there were
14 Oct 22 – Spa Day
14 Oct 22 – Spa Day It was our daughter’s birthday last week so we had a spa day. I haven’t been to many spa days in my life but I was excited about this one. I was going to
23 Sept 22 -Norfolk 2
23 Sept 22 -Norfolk 2 Have you ever said (when not drunk), ‘Can you pass the salt, it’s next the pepper?’ No, neither have I until I went to this place in Norfolk. After that I couldn’t stop. ‘Sweetie, are
17 Sept 22 – Norfolk 1 Video
17 Sept 22 – Norfolk 1 Video Here’s the video of the Norfolk 1 post. Hope you like it.
19 Aug 22 – Florida
19 Aug 22 – Florida A few years ago we sold all our internal organs and robbed the local bank to take the family to Florida. We booked all the sights, Magic Kingdom, Holywood Studios, Animal Kingdom, Universal Studios, and
12 Aug 22 – Ichthyophobia
12 Aug 22 – Ichthyophobia I’m not sure you know this, but Diane is ichthyophobic. This is an infliction that affects all aspects of her life: holidays, friends, Chinese restaurants, David Attenborough, Tescos – it’s serious. It all started on
24 June 22 – Tom Cruise
24 June 22 – Tom Cruise Hi Everyone, If you follow us on Facebook you may know it was our 30th Wedding Anniversary on Monday. Yes, a Skwiggles original as a present, Diane’s very lucky to own something worth about
27 May 22 – Driving Lessons
27 May 22 – Driving Lessons Hi Everyone My daughter is learning to drive. She doesn’t read this because dads are irrelevant until required, so I can say what I like. There’s a disused airfield close to where we live
13 May 22 – Snowboarding
13 May 22 – Snowboarding Hi Everyone, I had a traumatic experience while snowboarding a few years ago.That sketch is exaggerating my skills a little, in fact a lottle – it’s a lie. I am a poor snowboarder, when I
8 Oct 21 – Bouncer
8 Oct 21 – Bouncer Hi Everyone, Last Saturday I decided to have a go at being a bouncer.Well, it was sort of forced upon me because the real bouncer didn’t turn up to our daughter’s 18th birthday party at the Rugby Club, and
1 Oct 21 – Monopoly
Monopoly I don’t know whether you know this but I’m a World Monopoly Champion. When I say World, I’m using it in the American way, and it doesn’t really mean the whole world, as in the global entity where we all live, it
6 Aug 21 – The Peak District
6 Aug 21 – The Peak District Hi Everyone, Hope you’re having another great week. I’m on holiday in the Peak District this week and, if you’re a regular email opener, you’ll probably know I’ve been doing a lot of
11 June 21 – $15,000 Dollar Baby
11 June 21 – $15,000 Dollar Baby We lived in the USA for a while, and when we were out there I must’ve got my wife drunk on old yella, rattlesnake moonshine, or some other American drink, and one thing
A Night in the Hospital
A Night in the Hospital A few years ago, I was in the garden failing to light a BBQ, as well as simultaneously being a terrible parent – who said men couldn’t multitask? The Easi-Light BBQ was at the tense, dormant, unlightable
2 April 2021 – Wild Camping
2 April 2021 – Wild Camping Hope you’re having a good week. Now that we have a tiny bit of freedom, I remember last summer, the last time we briefly had some, I persuaded the family to go wild camping
Humphrey
Humphrey I need to tell you about this little creature. I’ve really tried hard to make him look cute, but he wasn’t. His name was Humphrey (thanks Betty G Birney and your Humphrey the Hamster books). This was a couple of