Norman’s Walk – July 24

We had to rush out early this morning, because Norman was invited to the unveiling of a new plaque just by the river on the new path into town.

As the plaque was being unveiled, we heard some booing in the crowd, someone wasn’t happy with the voting and thought it had been rigged.

He rassen frassened a few times, until a couple of his mates came by and smashed the plaque down…

…and accidently extended the path through the woods by three miles

Drat, and double drat, I’m sick of those Wacky Racers causing trouble. Norman definitely wasn’t happy and he had one of those long sulks he enjoys.

I told him don’t worry I have a friend who can help. But have you seen the build quality of the new TARDIS?

Absolutely disgraceful. Ncuti said there’d been some cuts in budget on Gallifrey and burst out crying. He never got the TARDIS to work, so we couldn’t go back and fix the sign.

Norman said he was sick of the world and he wanted some changes at the top, so he raced off to the polling station.

I said to him: ‘The grass isn’t alway greener on the other side, you know?’ but he took me to the football field and it turns out it is, look:

I did know another guy who might be able to paint Norman another sign, especially after I’d added some artwork to his van

I knew Brian had been in a bit of debt recently, but hells bells I thought he was back in black. All he did was shake me all night long and give the dog a bone saying he was totally sick of AC/DC puns and Bon Scott couldn’t paint as well as him. So I threw him a fiver and said ‘Have a drink on me.’

Crickey, no need for all that. We didn’t get the sign painted.

So, we went to the sea to tell the Cumbrian Marine Emus what had happened, they were shocked.

To cheer ourselves up, we play Slobbery Beach Droolyball for a bit.

And while we were on the beach, we made an amazing discovery. You’re not going to believe this, but we found out how clouds stay in the air.

No need to think about that mystery any more. Although there was still one thing that was botheinrg me – how does a creature like this stay in the air?

I need to have a think about that.

What I do know is – whenever this creature is flying over, it casts a magic spell on the land and daisies become very dangerous and have to be barriered off.

If not dealt with immediately, the daises give off an evil murk that covers the earth in a thick fog, it is at that moment the Mist Monsters rise.

I’ve made this sound terrifiying, but don’t worry it’s easily solved. You know those sticks that used to blast lasers when you were a kid? Well they still work for grown ups. I didn’t realise, and look what happened…

Sorry old brewery.

This next bit might sound far-fetched, but two laser blasts into the sky and pig and poodle, the only thing the Mist Monsters are scared of, appear over the rooftops,

An oink and a bark and the Mist Monsters run off like big daft cry-babies.

Phew.

It’s been another busy walk. To make up for the plaque, I arranged for a Norman Cloud to float over, so he could have a play before we went home.

That was it. After that, we went home to Diane for coffee and a wee in the garden. Norman likes coffee and I love… anyway doesn’t matter.

Have a great weekend.

Take care and all the best,

Ian

(If you want to leave a comment below, that would be great)