Norman’s Walk – June 24

As we set off on our walk, a new neighbour, who’d moved in down the road, had painted a sign on his wall and Norman was raging about his rights being restricted in such an oppressive way.

The guy who moved is Micky Flanagan, and the trouble with famous people is they think they can boss you about and they’re always spying on you…

… and maintaining their peep.

To make matters worse, we found out Taylor Swift is building a new stadium in our town.

‘Norman, I can’t be bothered with 2024 anymore.’ I said.

So we went back in time.

Unfortunately, we stopped in the DeLorean a bit too long, because when we got out we were confronted by a Fresh Water Basking Smilosaurus.

And this wall painting:

Which I didn’t fancy meeting. Nor did we want to stick around while this thing emerged from the sand.

The prehistoric past seemed very scary. But even so, I’ve always told Norman to face up to his problems, instead of…

So we jumped back into the DeLorean and accelerated to 88mph and into the Middle Ages. Which was better. Norman ended up learning a bit about his ancestors

And discovered that 500 years ago the world was ruled by cannons. Here’s one with its baby.

The baby cannon was kicking off a bit and about to explode a ball out of its barrel, which some nearby swan parents sympathised with.

Kids make you want to do that sometimes.

So we jumped, for one last time, into the DeLorean. Norman insisted on fulfilling a lifelong ambition, which is why we appeared on a big boat in the Atlantic in 1912. Norman’s always wanted to be Kate Winslet.

After that, back in the present, there was one other dream he wanted to fulfill. And I thought I’d spoil him and treat him to an expensive swimming with dolphins experience.

At this point, we were a bit tired, so we caught the train back home.

There were a few unusual characters on there, but we ignored them and stared out of the window. After years of staring aimlessly out of windows, that we can now call research, I discovered clouds dream of being elephants.

That was it. We went home to Diane for coffee and a chewy stick. Norman likes coffee and I love… anyway doesn’t matter.

Have a great weekend.

Take care and all the best,

Ian

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