Norman’s Walk – Dec 2022
Happy New Year to everyone. I had a word with Martin Lewis for you, and look
Phew.
While walking with Norman in December, I discovered that global warming has finally come to Cumbria. Look what got washed up in our local river 7000 miles further north than usual.
I hope it didn’t hang around, because shortly after that the jet stream changed course and it got freezing. On this day it was very crispy.
But someone in our town had a genius idea that even Martin would’ve been proud of. Save electricity, put your freezer out on the street.
On that very same day, I discovered millionaires lived on our street
Not sure who it was, but if I had to guess.
No one likes a show-off.
But spare a thought for this poor abandoned creature that I found out in the cold. Nobody wants a bag of poo at Christmastime
And then look who turned up.
I hate it when The Doctor comes for a visit, usually half the town gets sucked into an interdimensional time vortex, which is inconvenient.
You can’t help yourself, can you Martin?
After the Doctor left, blinkin’ Uri Geller turned up.
It was a bad year.
Does anyone actually remember there was a World Cup in December? Norman watched 10 mins of the game against Wales and thought he was Pickford
I got stocked up for the France game…
…and had nothing left to drink by half-time.
The alien invasion, which I’ve been keeping an eye on for you, is still underway. I don’t think this creature was too happy with me taking photos without permission.
And you need to be aware of these orange alien mechanoids watching you.
It’s very creepy. Not helped by Norman’s favourite joke…
…staring into dark woods as if he’s just seen a blood-soaked clown with an axe.
There have been occasions when we’re lucky to get out alive.
Note: Norman is like one of those horror movie characters who are a bit thick, hear a noise in the basement and go and investigate without putting the light on.
On a positive note, I was honoured to have a rare sighting of the Great Cumbrian Koala.
But be careful, the Cumbrian version can get very violent after a few pints.
For about two weeks, during the cold spell, there wasn’t a single cloud in the sky. I was happy to see them back at the end of the year.
So that’s it for 2022 (thankfully). We went to Edinburgh for New Year’s Eve, but this party looked slightly more cost-effective than our £6 a pint Hogmanay.
I’ve booked this bench for next year.
Hope you have a great 2023.
Shut up.
Have a great weekend.
Take care and all the best,
Ian
(If you want to leave a comment below, that would be great)
One of my grandchildren thought I would enjoy a book called Cloud Spotting for Christmas. It’s very disappointing, no eyes, teeth, tails or legs. See what you’ve done to me!
Haha, you’ll have to draw them in (did I give away my secret there). If I need any cloud advice, the only one I know is Cumulonimbus, I know where to come 🙂
I bought one of your t shirts at Christmas for my 18 year old grandson. He loved it
That’s brill, thanks Pat, glad he liked it 🙂
Happy New Year to you and the family. Keep up the great work. Stay safe, looks full of dangers up there!
Julee & family.
Happy New year to you and all your family. Love Normans walk always brings a smile to my face. Carry on the fantastic work.
Happy New Year to you too, Sandra. Glad you enjoy the walks. I do too, unless he’s being a pain 🙂
Happy New Year to you too, Julee. I will try to avoid the dangerous creatures 🙂
Happy new year to you and your family and, of course, to Norman. I really look forward to reading about your antics and to seeing your amazing drawings. Please keep on doing what you do. I got a fit bit for Christmas and am going on long walks every day, got to do my 10k steps, so I will keep an eye open in case the aliens have made it down south.
Thanks Alison and Happy New Year to you too. I definitely need help with the alien invasion, no one is taking it seriously up north 🙂
That’s cheered me up! Thanks Ian, another superb Post. Happy New Year to you all.
Thanks David, glad it cheered you up. Happy New Year to you too 🙂
I absolutely love reading your emails, I pass them onto my son & daughter – both of them have t shirts or hoodies bought from you. You make me laugh & I love the aliens & cloud creatures. We see them too!!! But we keep it quiet.
Thanks Zoe, that’s nice of you to say. Glad you like them and thanks for buying the tees and hoodies. Maybe I should’ve kept the aliens and clouds quiet as well, but we need to stop this alien invasion 🙂 Have a great weekend
Happy New Year to you and the family (including Norman !)
Happy New Year to you too Nick 🙂
Happy New Year thanks for all the stories and Norman.. he’s a star!
Thanks Jean, Happy New Year to you too. Norman says thanks 🙂
I’d write a longer comment but following Martins advice I now light my entire home using the light from my screen.
HNY to you all.
Very wise Alan, Martin would be proud. HNY to you too 🙂
Fantastic, Ian. Thanks for brightening my day.
Thanks Michelle, glad it brightened your day. Not too bright though, keep those lights off 🙂
Thank you for the laugh needed one as flu has struck will save this one to read again . Happy New Year.
Poor you Pat, hope you’re feeling better soon. Happy New Year 🙂
Happy new year to you and yours Ian, especially Norman.
Thanks for all the fun in 2022 more of the same in ’23 please!
Best wishes
Georgina x
Thanks Georgina, that’s very nice of you, glad you enjoyed it. All the best for 2023 🙂
Happy New Year to you & the family, & Norman of course. My other half loves the Bruce Springsteen No Surrender lyrics long sleeved T I got him at Xmas. Looking forward to next week’s email already.
Thanks Susan. Happy New Year to you too. Glad your other half likes the Bruce shirt and thanks for buying from us. Have a great weekend 🙂
Your posts always make me giggle- I look forward to reading lots more in 2023!
Happy New Year to you and yours, from me and mine in Northern Ireland ?
Thanks Sharon, glad you enjoyed it and hope you have a brill 2023. All the best 🙂
Love your imagination, Ian!
Keep them coming – they always bring a smile to my face.
I can’t spell my surname…. LOL.
It’s Brown 🙂
Haha, that’s funny, I was wondering how to pronounce that. Have a great weekend 🙂
Thanks Heather, glad they make you smile. Have a brill 2023 🙂
Brilliant, Ian! Love the pictures and love the humour. Any advance on the Neil Young potential skwiggle?
Thanks Lisa, Neil is on the to-do list. Have a great weekend 🙂
I would have left a longer message but Martin said I need my phone to light the house.
Happy New Year guys. Be do we need this stuff right now.
Happy New Year Alan, use those batteries wisely or I’ll send Martin round (and you don’t want that). Enjoy your weekend 🙂