Norman’s Walk – Nov 2022
November’s been another fun month walking with Norman. Not sure you know, but he’s been doing great things and he’s got his own statue in the park now.
It’s a bit much I know, but he got a phone call the other day and I had to put him on a train to London. He was mumbling something about the country being a complete mess and did he have to do everything around here.
It’s top secret and we’re still telling people Rishi’s in control, so shshsh. He’s been working with a few other notable figures as well.
As you can imagine it’s gone right to his head and he’s insufferable. But I said to him, you’re never too big you know, and if you nick my sock off the radiator again, this is where you’ll be living
He wasn’t too happy with that and flew into a bit of rage, but there’s no CCTV so he was never there.
Sorry about that terrible argument. I’ll show you some of Norman’s November cloud friends to lighten the mood a little.
To be honest with you that one is ridiculous, the USS Enterprise was a constitution-class starship and never intended to orbit that close to a planet. This one’s much more reasonable.
Look at him sitting there. It’s true, I was walking slow that day, so slow in fact that Norman almost got out his sarnies and flask of coffee while waiting. Further up The Lonely Mountain Smaug popped his head out.
Norman distracted him by spinning around like a fool while I stole the Arkenstone and a sparkly bracelet that looked lovely on.
It was a busy day because later I spotted Musk and Bezos abandoning the planet.
Elon’s been building a new launch complex in Cumbrian, just round the corner from us.
It didn’t look finished but he must’ve thought – stuff it I’m outta here.
On the subject of technology, we had a trip to see our daughter in Edinburgh, and I discovered where they’d put The Time Tunnel.
I walked through it and it still works. On the other side I appeared in the 1970s, where there was a man in a Sex Pistols t-shirt sitting in a burnt-out Ford Escort, I hurried back to the future remembering all too clearly what it was like.
You know the aliens that Norman keeps finding, well they’re taking on human form.
And look at this.
Alien spy technology, if ever I saw it.
Although I’m not sure the aliens have the stamina for this invasion.
Either that or they’ve discovered Cinzano Bianco.
By the way, if you don’t believe me about the Time Tunnel, look at this
A strange time-distorted place where you get your festive bakes on horseback, it’s called my home town. Also the home of the Antichrist.
Who, as you would expect, isn’t much of a recycler – look how many bins he’s got. Planet destroyer.
Good moment to show you the exact tree where Munch got his inspiration.
I’m going to leave you with a Christamassy feel, I think that’s important.
Saw this guy heading north.
And with the turkey shortage, I think this plump, succulent-looking fella should be thinking about flying south pretty quickly. I’ve given him a Pat Pending-style flying machine to help get his fat body off the ground.
‘Just wear the hat and stop complaining. That would’ve been a good photo if it wasn’t for you.’
‘Woof.’
‘Don’t use that language in front of me.’
‘Woof. Woof.’
‘Right, that’s it.’
Sorry, you had to see that. I’ll clean the graffiti off later when I calm down.
Have a great weekend. Don’t argue with your dog.
Take care and all the best,
Ian
(If you want to leave a comment below, that would be great)
Another great story at the end of a (for me) busy week- travelling home from Germany- diverted to Birmingham due to fog bound Bristol- all exciting stuff! ?. Glad your experiences are more earth bound. ??♀️?
Sounds like a very busy week Pam, hope you get home soon 🙂
Very funny,
I look forward to reading your mails.
I think I need therapy!
Haha, yes I think therapy may be required. Glad you enjoyed it. Have a great weekend 🙂
You’re bonkers ?
Thanks, I think 🙂
Blimey, I think I actually heard that picture of Time Tunnel…
Haha, you heard it?? That’s spooky. Was it that crazy 70s theme tune? 🙂
I’m voting for Norman in the next election!!
Thanks David, we’ll start a Lab party 🙂
Makes me laugh how you see shapes everywhere.
Norman for PM! ???
Thanks Tracy, got a few votes for Norman now, the Lab Party is the way forward 🙂
Hilarious! I so look forward to your weekly round-ups. They never fail to make me chuckle.
Thanks Michelle, glad you enjoyed it. Norman gets himself into a lot of trouble 🙂
Do you maybe think Norman knows more than he’s letting on? I mean all these “Characters” and strange clouds, that always only seem to appear when you’re out with Norman, it’s like the Sci-fi and Superhero stories, the UFO’s only ever seem to land in America (although judging by a lot of the stories that ever come from that part of the world, not sure that that’s JUST a Hollywood fantasy)! Then you’ve got Musks “Spaceship” in Cumbria, I would keep a very close eye on Norman
Well, Norman is now in charge of the country, so the battle against these strange creatures can really begin. We need a few billion invested in Cumbria, preferably my account, to sort this out 🙂
So funny, I think that’s your best one yet (although they’re all hilarious). Your stories are a Friday treat.
Thanks Susan, glad you enjoyed it 🙂
Your tales of Norman always brighten my day!
Thanks Janet, glad it brightened your day 🙂
Late to the party, as usual. I’m also just back from Germany where, although not diverted due to fog, we *were* delayed taking off by a sudden and fairly significant leak in the galley. I wasn’t sure I like the idea of an engineering quick fix, so I was quietly pleased when we changed to another aircraft. Lucky there was a spare! Norman is great! I love reading his adventures, particularly while sipping Gluhwein with a slug of rum. Norman for PM!
I’m with you, a new aircraft please, and a couple of free Gluhwein and rums 🙂