Shouty People
Can you believe complete strangers like to shout at me? Let me tell you about it.
Shout 1
I was walking down a secluded forest path in the middle of The Lake District, just like this one:
Then I saw a man in the distance with a dog.
”GET YOUR DOG ON A LEAD,’ he shouted more than once. ‘NOW, DO IT NOW.’
So I did, because I’m obedient.
As he got closer, he said, less shoutily: ‘Next time you see me get your dog on a lead as quickly as you can, you understand?’
‘Okay.’
‘My dog will kill your dog. And I mean kill it. He’s killed two dogs already.’
His dog stood passively by the man’s side.
‘He’s okay when they’re on a lead, but if not he’ll get them by the throat… he was supposed to be put down, but I rescued him. So next time be careful.’
I don’t know whether he was a lunatic or the dog was, either way I backed away swiftly.
Shout 2
Norman was sniffing on a bit of grass. One of those bits of grass with a ‘No Ball Games’ sign that reminded me of better days when kids did play out.
(Norman was too scared to come on this side of the fence for the photoshoot after this incident.)
There was no one about so I let Norman off to sniff about…
‘IS THAT DOG ON A LEAD?’
There was an aggressive woman on her doorstep, which was about 50 yards behind me, from where I took this photo.
I could’ve replied: ‘Yes, but it’s very long and goes invisible when it’s scared by old bags’ but I didn’t think it would help.
‘No, he’s not.’
‘RIGHT, I’M REPORTING YOU TO THE COUNCIL.’
I shuddered with fear like this.
Not the council. She was reporting me to the council for letting my dog sniff a public bit of grass.
‘There’s no sign …’ I said.
‘GIVE YOURSELF A SHAKE MAN…’ and then she went into a series of expletives with the general theme of me being a complete and utter idiot, and I would be paying the ultimate price when the council paid me a visit.
I moved on.
When I was telling me mam about these incidents she said: ‘Well you’re easy to shout at, you need to look tougher and then they won’t shout at you.’ So I’m off to shave my head and take steriods to get a thick neck.
Shout 3
I was walking by the river towards the football pitches and a man was waiting by the gates with two dogs. Here’s another photo to show the location. Norman is looking nervously towards the gate in the distance by the trees.
‘DON’T TAKE ONE STEP CLOSER TO ME WITHOUT PUTTING THAT DOG ON A LEAD.’
I was at least 30 metres away from him and about to put Norman back on the lead before we got to the football pitches anyway.
‘He’s friendly, don’t worry…’ I said.
‘YOU DON’T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT MY DOGS.
NOTHING.
BE A RESPONSIBLE DOG OWNER AND GET THAT THING ON A LEAD.”
When did labradors get put on the banned breeds list, I have missed something.
I put him on his lead.
As I got closer the man continued shouting and his eyes went like this:
And I’m telling you, they may have even started to spin. I can safely say I have never been that angry in the whole of my life. It was as if I’d murdered both of his dogs, followed by his close family and the goldfish.
Shout 4
I know this is getting a bit samey, spoiler alert – I get shouted at again, but I’ve got to get it off my chest.
You know modern housing estates, they don’t have walls at the front of their gardens anymore. Well, Norman had a wee on the pavement and a tiny bit splashed onto a man’s garden. Believe me, he’d had 40 eleven wees already and this was one of those ones that he had to squeeze out to mark territory. So yes, this was my fault but at the beginning of the walk it could’ve been a lot worse.
I’ve done a sketch to show you the exact details, with precise measurements and trajectory of the urine.
The yellow area is the location of the wee, but a tiny droplet splashed onto the man’s garden and, because we’re being accurate, within a picosecond his door was open and he started shouting as if the xenomorph’s saliva was burning through his whole lawn.
‘HEY, WHERE DO YOU LIVE, COS I’M BRINGING MY DOG ROUND TO DUMP ON YOUR LAWN.’
‘I’m just round the corner at number…’ no I didn’t say that. ‘Sorry, sorry sorry, etc’
He also called me stupid a couple of times and threatened to do something nasty on my lawn himself.
Conclusion
It’s been a bad dog-walking month and everyone seems to be in a bad mood round our way.
There, I’ve got this off my chest, I feel better now.
Just so I know, does anyone else getting shouted at? Or maybe you love a good shout at irresponsible dog owners? Let me know below.
Thanks for reading.
All the best, Ian
(If you want to leave a comment below, that would be great)
My advice, wear headphones, and ignore the world, works for me
I like that option, turn the volume up and keep walking 🙂
What are the chances of any of these people being Skwiggles members?
Zero I would have thought… Only nice people wear nice T shirts.
Haha, I should get ‘No Shouting’ dog walking Skwiggles t-Shirts 🙂
YES, DO IT! You have an order from me right now:)
🙂
Love the stories. Now make a t-shirt of a yellow lab which I have and print on it. GET YOUR DOG ON THE LEADER. . I’ll definitely buy one , female, short sleeves , size 10 , black.
Thanks KIm, I’ll think about that one 🙂
I was walking my two small spaniels, off the lead, up the side of our local park when I heard a dog barking.
My two shot of to the fence where the dog ( Shih Tzu)was barking and started barking through the fence. By the time I got there, there was a lady giving it big verbals, “that could have been a bairn your dogs are barking at.
I said that bairns don’t bark and if it was a bairn it’s needing a shave. We’ll talk about stoking a fire 🔥 .
If my man was here he’d sort you out. I replied, get him out,. She replied, I can’t as he’s dead 😮😮😮 Needless to say I bid a hasty retreat with no words said.😳😳😳
Never seen barking bairns before, do they have them up in Scotland? 🙂 I think you did the right thing, you can’t compete with a dead husband
Sorry Ian
I’m no shouty but if I see dogs when I’m walking mine I always put her on the lead it’s common courtesy. I have no time for the people who say my dogs friendly because mine is nervous of other dogs and feels safer on the lead.
Totally understand John, I would be the same. It’s just the shouting that’s a bit unecessary. If I see you, I’ll get Norman on the lead 🙂
My little one is the same. I always put her on a lead if other dogs are about as she is a nervous rescue . I do get a bit cross when other dogs bound up to her, with their owners shouting ‘it’s OK, he/she is friendly’ they do look surprised when I say ‘Well, she isn’t always, that’s why she is on a lead’ I then get ‘the look’ like I am irresponsible!!
Sorry Caroline, I’m one of them with a boundy dog. If I see you, I promise I’ll put Norman on the lead 🙂
Oh, Ian. Oh, Norman…
Everybody seems to be angry about something at the moment. Here’s hoping that November is a much better dog walking month for both of you x
Thanks Christina, I know who to avoid now, so things are looking up 🙂
Hi Ian
I don’t like people – they’re so miserable and angry all the time … our four legged and two legged feathered friends are so much more pleasant…. Except the Kite who swooped down and nicked my sandwich straight out of my hand… he wasn’t nice, and he got a piece of my finger as a bonus…
Give people a wide berth to enjoy a pleasanter day… 😏😬👍
Haha Sally, if that Kite was human it would be shouty, I would imagine. Hope your finger’s grown back. I will be giving the baddies a wide berth from now one 🙂
So glad that the only dog I have is an imaginary whippet called Fang. The whole world has gone mental because the government is barking.
I think my next dog will be imaginary, I’ve heard they’re easy to train 🙂
Hope you’ve got your appointment for your tough guy tattoos booked 😂 that’ll see them all off.
Haha Carole, forehead tattoo required, maybe put skwiggles.co.uk on there 🙂
I once met a man with an Airedale – it bit my almost blind Westie , who didn’t have a clue what was happening, right down to the bone. I was the shouter. I had come across him before and told him mine were on leads because they were not friendly. He told me his was. I shouted at him that he was irresponsible for not putting his dog on a lead!
That is totally fair, your poor Westie. Norman has never bitten anything or anyone, but you’re right, maybe need to be more careful 🙂
Do you think people are just under so much stress these days they are just way less tolerant now?
WELL???? WHY HAVEN’T YOU AGREED WITH ME YET??!
I agree with you Alan, stop shouting 🙂
Get a cat, no need to walk them, they bury their own pee and poo (except “complete” males) and they keep you well fed with mice, voles, cute baby birds etc.
Haha, it was all going well there Ian, until the cute baby birds bit 🙂
I think people are becoming irrational due to stress.
WELL??? WHY HAVEN’T YOU ANSWERED ME YET????
Just been out with Norman annoying people as usual, I said BEEN OUT WITH NORMAN. Didn’t get shouted at, phew 🙂
That’s definitely your funniest weekly update, Ian. Well, 50% funny: 50% scary.
Particularly scary that Shouter 1 takes a convicted killer into public spaces without being muzzled (I.e., both of them).
Particularly funny that your own mother thinks that you are “ easy to shout at”.
Yes, I also think Shouter 1 and the convicted killer is the scariest, I won’t be going on that particular forest walk again. I need to look tougher 🙂
I sympathise Ian.
I’ve had a rotten week walking my mild mannered golden. 3 times I’ve had dogs run from their houses front doors barking and trying to nip my poor girl .. and one guy even threatened to “sort me out” even though he was in the wrong. No harm done to either of us fortunately, me and my Lola I mean. It’s sad but I’ve resorted to taking a pen/spy cam with me now just in case I need to prove anything against the behaviour of a dog or even its ignorant owner!
Regards,
(another) Ian.
That’s a bad week… All anyone wants is a nice walk with their dog, but it doesn’t seem that simple. I’m a bit more careful with Norman nowadays. Wouldn’t go passed those houses again
I know .. what should be a nice relaxing walk has turned into some sort of stress fuelled real life video game .. lol. Don’t have too much option other than to go past those houses unfortunately but at least I can be on high alert in those areas. I hope you and Norman get some nice winter walks in .. you seem to have a lot of options for open spaces where you live.
It does sound a bit stressful. Went up in the woods where I knew there wouldn’t be many people this morning, it was good. Not many tourists in the winter so a bit quieter up here. Hope you get some good, stress free, walks in also this winter 🙂
Hi Ian
Loved this post. Our common rule of thumb is if we see nervous types putting their dogs on leads, then we follow suit. Otherwise we don’t. Nine times out of ten the dogs get on fine. (Ours are obsessed by chasing sticks, so don’t really pay much attention)
The bottom line is, it’s not the dogs. It’s the owners that project their issues onto their dogs.
Maybe the t shirt should read “relax dude, you’re the problem not my dog”
PS got my front pitch standing for Bruce at Cardiff the other day😊😊
👍
Hi Martin, I’m jealous of your Bruce tickets, tried to get some at Sunderland but all they had left was right at the back, so I pressed ‘Search again’ and it lost connection. Raging.
I’ve started putting Norman on the lead if anyone else does, you’re right, I think that’s the safest option. I will have a think about the t-shirt 🙂
Omg I have never laughed so much u need y own podcast mate👍😂🤣 I feel y pain 😂😉🤣 buds in and play Christmas songs Santa clause is coming to town 🎅👍😂 dress up as a elf put some raindear ears on Norm 🐶👍 & piss em right off Merry Christmas 🎅 🐶 🎄🤣🤣 lv me card thst I how now decided I’m keeping 😂🤷♀️ so I’m sending it to me because I deserve a happy Christmas too 🎅🍷🎄🤣 xx
Glad you enjoyed it 🙂 You definitely deserve a happy Christmas, and I might take your advice xx