It’s a big week coming up. Norman is 2 years old on 30th April. I know, he doesn’t look a day over 1. But it’s an important birthday because all the dog websites say a labrador should be mentally mature by the age of 2 years.
So I’ve put together a little coming-of-age speech to read out to him on Sunday, just to smooth the transition from this
The speech is based on the famous Rudyard Kipling poem to his son – ‘If’
So here we go, let the growing up begin.
If you can keep your head when all about you
Are running and sniffing bums in the park,
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Your poop will be scooped with none on my fingers.
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To walk on the lead and not rupture my spleen.
If you can dream—without snoring and grunting
Then one day we might hear the telly.
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds less barking at the postie.
If you can think—even a tiny little bit,
Yours is the biscuit tin and everything that’s in it.
And—which is more—you’ll be a good dog, my friend!
Hopefully that should do it. I’ll let you know.