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19 Feb 21

Hi Everyone,

Hope you are well. This week, so I could sound clever, I’ve started listening to podcasts while I’m skwiggling. Everyone is doing them now because the celebs have got no work and it’s either that or Celebrity Dog Grooming/Pottery/Baking, the list is endless. Here’s my version of Celebrity Chase

I apologise for the quality of that drawing, I didn’t want to spend too much time with Davina, yes, that’s Davina, god knows who the other lot are.

This week, I listened to a few podcasts on time management and I’ve come up with this strategy on how to slow time down to get more done. That’s why I’m writing this using my feet, sitting on the roof of my house, wearing a viking helmet. Look.

And it’s working, I’m getting loads done.

Here’s my theory. When you’re picking your nose, for example, your brain isn’t expending much energy. However enjoyable it is, it’s still a routine maintenance job. But, try picking your nose with the sharp horn of a viking’s helmet.

Now your brain is on fire with the danger and novelty of it, and it uses more energy. The more energy it uses the more memories it stores and the longer things seem to have taken.

Let’s throw in some emotion. If you’re having an argument with your wife (which I never do, she reads this) it seems to last forever, especially when the football’s on. Emotions also affect our perception of time, especially fear.

Put these things together and I can slow down time. Because I’ve never sat on a roof, typing with my feet whilst picking my nose with a viking helmet, the energy of my brain is off the scale and as I’m sliding off the roof towards the busy road, fear will make those final memories drag on forever. In the end, I won’t have done more work, but as I lie crumpled on the road, it will seem like I have, and I’ll feel good about myself.

Sorry, bit of a gruesome ending. Maybe podcasts aren’t good for me. There is a less fatal alternative to this that I discovered last Saturday while watching The Masked Singer without drinking enough beer. That was a long night.

My new book ‘Getting More Done in Less Time’ is now available… absolutely nowhere.

Besides writing the above incredibly informative article, here’s some other things I’ve been doing.

I’ve had a lot of requests for Rory Gallagher, and so I don’t get beaten up in the street, here he is. It’s a mid-life version of Rory playing Bullfrog Blues.

Steven Tyler is a right fancy pants. He loves a dangly tassel on his jacket. I love the live version of Dream On miles better than the album one. Especially when they throw in a massive orchestra. Brill.

Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy is one of my favs. I remember listening to the radio show yonks ago, and I’ve read the book loads of times. However, I don’t think Marvin aspires to the Don’t Panic philosophy of The Hitchhiker’s Guide.

I’ve started a new British Comedy section on the website, here’s the link

British Comedy

And here’s John Cleese about to thrash his car in Faulty Towers

There’s some Only Fools and Horses and Withnail and I on there.

And the last moment of Blackadder Goes Forth as they go over the top and Baldrick doesn’t get a chance to save them with his final ‘cunning plan.’ In my mind, this is one of the saddest scenes on telly.

That’s it once again.

Just one more thing. Have you noticed strange lockdown things happening to your kids when a bit of fresh air is mentioned?

I have.

Have a good weekend.

Take care and all the best,

Ian

19 Feb 21

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