How’s your algorithm? Because I’m not sure about mine. I recently joined TikTok since Steven Barlett from Dragon’s Den said I should.

It’s great for your business, he said. So I signed up…

…and he’s wrong.

It’s not great for your business.

We haven’t sold any more T-shirts than usual. In fact, it’s made it worse. All I do now is scroll through videos on how aliens built the pyramids and, you know that meteor that destroyed the dinosaurs, well it wasn’t a meteor, it was an alien spacecraft full of creatures that impregnated early apes and made them into us.

And did you know if a simulated bus crashes into a wall at 350mph it makes a right mess.

I’m not sure if I’m actually supposed to post anything on TikTok, Steven didn’t really elaborate on what to do. And I haven’t got time anyway because, look at this, if you have two twins and one gets shot into space at the speed of light then

Surely not Brian, not according to this video on Lord Kelvin and the second law of thermodynamics.

As usual my Customer Services Manager is correct. The problem is, this TikTok algorithm thinks I’m a complete gullible freak who believes everything he’s told.

And that’s the scary bit…it’s right.

21 July 2023 – Steven Barlett

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