23 April 21 – The Shower

Hi Everyone,

Hope you’re having another great week.

This week I have to speak out about a serious issue. This:

What’s all that stuff? You’ll notice, in the right corner, my cold tar and coconuty Alberto Balsam, but to the left there’s a confusing array of bottles containing potions that I’m too scared to touch.

This morning, I plucked up the courage and dug deep. As well as 5 different delicious-sounding flavours of shampoo (I tasted them all, they’re yummy), there’s several conditioners that I always steer clear of because they make me look like this

I’m the dandelion on the right. After conditioning, one gust of wind and I’m completely bald, so I stopped using it.

Then I found natural serums in the pile that get rid of sulfates and parabens. I don’t know about you but I didn’t realise I had a sulfate and paraben problem, but I’m assuming if I wear my mask and keep 2 metres away from them I’ll be okay.

I thought I’d include a sketch of a paraben, just so you can avoid them. Sorry, I don’t look to be 2 metres apart there, but I was angry.

If you look at the above sketch again, you will notice how radiant and shiny my hair looks, and you know why? You’re right, I did sneak a blob of Renewing and Seductive Moroccan Argan Oil on that day. Delightful isn’t it. Here’s a close up.

Don’t think for a moment that I just decided to write this while having a shower this morning, because that’s totally un…

…anyway.

However, this morning while rubbing my coal tar around, I did think to myself, stuff this, why shouldn’t I look awesome for a change. So I slapped the lot of it on my bonse.

It was amazing.

The de-frizzer worked a treat, as did the volumizer and the ginseng hair de-shredder. Then the conditioner helped to soften the de-frizzer, the bamboo charcoal and baobab oil counteracted the excess volumizing of the volumizer and the tea tree tingle provided a soothing re-shredding action.

I came out of that shower with hair that looked absolutely… exactly the same as it’s been for the last 30 years. Result.

Check me out (Sorry about the nudey sketch).