23 Sept 22 -Norfolk 2
Have you ever said (when not drunk), ‘Can you pass the salt, it’s next the pepper?’ No, neither have I until I went to this place in Norfolk.
After that I couldn’t stop.
‘Sweetie, are the car keys next the door?’
‘Is Holkham Hall next the beach?’
‘The coffee shop? It’s next the butchers.’
It makes sense, why waste time with that tiny preposition when you can power through to the definite article and noun, that’s what I always say. For a week I tried to use it regularly.
The first couple of days of the holiday we did some general sightseeing, obviously Wells Next the Sea and also Cromer. I am always in charge of Norman, every time I give him to anyone else something bad happens.
‘Jen can you hold Norman for 3 seconds while I tie my shoelace?’
‘What? It was 3 seconds…’ then I snapped her shoulder and knee back in place and we had a crab sandwich in the crab sandwich shop next the post office. The Norfolk coast must be infested with crabs because you can’t move for crab sandwiches.
Me in cafe: ‘Steak and kidney pie and chips, please?’
10 minutes later:
Not sure what the menu was for, because I don’t think there was a choice.
We hired a boat on the Norfolk Broads, but there were too many backseat drivers.
Although, Norman did take over the steering when we were reversing into the marina to return the boat later, or that’s what I told everyone watching in the cafe and the packed pub across the river, just next the cake shop.
The house we stayed in was brill, it had a hot tub in the garden which most of us enjoyed in the evening. Someone wasn’t happy though.
I think I need a new job as a holiday photographer in exotic locations, because I’ve accidentally made that look pretty good with my Samsung phone. This was taken at about 8.00 at night, but we were paranoid about having too much fun, after reading the guest book.
‘Lovely place, but neighbour shouted at me for being in the hot tub.’
‘Enjoyed our stay, but got a note under the door saying ‘Don’t talk too loudly in the kitchen.’
So we vacated the hot tub at 8.30 and whispered in the kitchen most of the day. Apart from that time I won at Monopoly. After that, I was expecting
I did feel sorry for the neighbour though, after reading several entries like ‘All eight of us crazies loved the hen party weekend, fizz in the hot tub all night. Wooooo.’ Every week they won’t know what they are going to get and the hot tub was next the garden wall.
It was a great holiday, we never got any notes under the door or shouted at over the wall.
And the people were super friendly, well the five or six we met were.
If you were one of those super friendly people at Wells Next the Sea on, for example, Saturday 3 Sept, who was eating their fish and chips on those very low seats at the quayside, the ones at the perfect height for a dog, say, to be walking passed and sniff them and, maybe, because the dog owner wasn’t quite paying attention, there is a chance you may have discovered there was one less sausage than you expected. If that was you, it was nothing to do with us.
Have a great weekend.
Take care and all the best,
(If you want to leave a comment below, that would be great)