I was walking through the woods this week and I saw a man doing something in the undergrowth. Norman ran to investigate this strange happening.
So I shouted for him


The man looked round. Notice, it was the man who looked round and not Norman.

‘NORMAN, come here.’

The man looked again and took a step towards me.

When Norman ignores me (which is often), I have to resort to my stern tone with a bit of abuse thrown in, the abuse is just for my own amusement.

‘NORMAN, YOU IDIOT, come here.’

The man started to look displeased.


And then I recognised him, it was Mr Sweeney, my daughter’s old primary school teacher, he was setting up a school camp in the woods.

And then I remembered his first name, and I think you know what it is.

I will not bore you with the details of my groveling explanation as to why he thought I was calling him a fat idiot, suffice it to say, I went into crawly bum-lick mode and took myself off to see the headmistress.

Having a dog called Norman, this incident was bound to have happened at some point, so at least I’ve got it over with.

30 June 2023 – Man in the Woods

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