I Wish It Could Be Christmas Everyday
When you say this song title to people they always reply with:
But that is just not true, I’ve given this some serious thought and here’s what would really happen.
Christmas Day 1.
The first and the best. Open presents, start drinking before 12, eat until you start cramping and then, as Roy Wood correctly points out, at some point after the sherries kick in,
Brilliant. You’re well on your way to being a 30-stone alcoholic. What a day.
Christmas Day 2
This starts badly. You wake up to discover there’s no presents, just empty glasses and a few brussels rolling around on the kitchen floor. But you glance outside and it looks Christmassy, because the snowman brought the snow, and he just might like to know, that he put a …
Get some Bubble and Squeak into you, some leftover sherry, a board game and watched Strictly Christmas Special again. It’s all good.
Christmas Day 3
Just googled, and the Co-op and Lidl are shut on Christmas Day.
Roy, what the ‘eck do we do?
‘Let your rosy cheeks light your merry way.’
Thanks Roy, he always knows how to cheer us up.
Christmas Day 4
No presents again, the pub’s fresh out of turkey, the King’s speech was boring 4 days ago, and at about 5.00 pm the skeleton staff at E.ON thought stuff it and the power went off.
Christmas Day 5
Beans on mouldy toast for Christmas dinner, no toilet paper left, the car ran out of petrol on your way to break into ASDA, and we’re burning our presents now to keep warm.
‘Barricade your doors
Because the angry mob is on the way.’
Christmas Day 6
The only bells ringing out now are house alarms above the sound of people wacking each other with Christmas trees.
Then throw him off the roof top in the snow and fly away.
Is what I recommend.
Christmas Day 7
Roy? Roy? Help us, Roy?
Sorry, it got a bit sinister towards the end there. Anyway, hope you enjoyed that heartwarming Christmas story.
Have a great weekend.
Take care and all the best,
(If you want to leave a comment below, that would be great)