I Wish It Could Be Christmas Everyday
When you say this song title to people they always reply with:
But that is just not true, I’ve given this some serious thought and here’s what would really happen.
Christmas Day 1.
The first and the best. Open presents, start drinking before 12, eat until you start cramping and then, as Roy Wood correctly points out, at some point after the sherries kick in,
Brilliant. You’re well on your way to being a 30-stone alcoholic. What a day.
Christmas Day 2
This starts badly. You wake up to discover there’s no presents, just empty glasses and a few brussels rolling around on the kitchen floor. But you glance outside and it looks Christmassy, because the snowman brought the snow, and he just might like to know, that he put a …
Get some Bubble and Squeak into you, some leftover sherry, a board game and watched Strictly Christmas Special again. It’s all good.
Christmas Day 3
Just googled, and the Co-op and Lidl are shut on Christmas Day.
Roy, what the ‘eck do we do?
‘Let your rosy cheeks light your merry way.’
Thanks Roy, he always knows how to cheer us up.
Christmas Day 4
No presents again, the pub’s fresh out of turkey, the King’s speech was boring 4 days ago, and at about 5.00 pm the skeleton staff at E.ON thought stuff it and the power went off.
Roy?
Christmas Day 5
Beans on mouldy toast for Christmas dinner, no toilet paper left, the car ran out of petrol on your way to break into ASDA, and we’re burning our presents now to keep warm.
‘Barricade your doors
Because the angry mob is on the way.’
Christmas Day 6
The only bells ringing out now are house alarms above the sound of people wacking each other with Christmas trees.
Then throw him off the roof top in the snow and fly away.
Is what I recommend.
Christmas Day 7
Roy? Roy? Help us, Roy?
Sorry, it got a bit sinister towards the end there. Anyway, hope you enjoyed that heartwarming Christmas story.
Have a great weekend.
Take care and all the best,
Ian
(If you want to leave a comment below, that would be great)
I personally don’t enjoy Christmas it’s the hypocrisy of it all. The football match in WW2 on Christmas Day wouldn’t happen now in Gaza, Syria or Ukraine.
The homeless are cared for at least for a couple of days then back onto the cold harsh streets.
The only positive is it does make some happy especially the children.
I know what you mean George, it’s more of a stressful time than anything else. More for the kids really. Won’t be long until it’s over 🙂
Well, I find Christmas very hard. My family are loving and caring but this will be the 9th Christmas since my husband died (he was only in his 60’s). His birthday is on New Years Eve so we always celebrated Christmas and the New Year with gusto. It’s just not the same without my soul mate I miss him more than words can say. I put a smile on my face and join in all the festivities, but it’s hard when you have a broken heart
Ha ha that was brilliant!
Thanks Pauline, went a bit sinister towards the end, but I blame Roy 🙂
It has less meaning these days cos children get too much all year round. When I was little we got a present on your birthday and for Xmas. There was little else, but in those days we could “ play out” all day and amuse ourselves with no expensive toys just our imagination. A picnic to us was jam on a slice of bread. We went in only when we thought it must be nearly tea time. We got so excited over Xmas then, but these days there’s no assembly, no carols ( in case we might offend), and no family programs to gather round the tv for. Morecambe and Wise is one example. Sigh. So much missing these days. Not really grumpy just bewailing what used to be.
Very true Glynis, my dad was a joiner and the best present I ever got was a fort he made, it was brill. You’ll have to go on YouTube and watch Morecambe and Wise repeats, still funny 🙂
I do that and they are still funny. Also only Fools and Horses. I have the complete Monty Python set. All tv and films they made. I’d like to wish you and yours a lovely Xmas. My own tradition of avoiding Xmas films on Xmas day involves a mandatory dvd watch of The Great Escape. Anything not mentioning Xmas will be considered worthy of a look lol. Never mind soon be sales and holidays on offer. Xx
As a proud Brummie it’s always good to hear the dulcet tones of the Stockland Green middle school at Christmas.
# Well oi wheeesh it cud be Chreestmas evreeday…#
That just adds to its greatness 🙂
@Alan : every right to be proud to be a Brummie
@Ian: hilarious, thank you!
Thanks Lisa
Brilliant Ian…..made me chuckle….
Thanks Wendy, glad you enjoyed it. Have a great Christmas
Made me Chuckle. Happy Christmas to You and your Family.
Here’s to more daftness in 2024.
🎄🎁.
Glad you enjoyed it, Christopher. Have a great New year yourself 🙂