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13 Sept 24

Hope everyone is doing well.

I got Marc Bolan done from the list this week.

Photos

Here’s Collette in her Skwiggles Kiss T-Shirt in the Hard Rock Cafe in Prague, with Paul and Gene’s guitars in the background. Brill photo Collette and hope you had a great time in Prague. Thanks for buying the T-Shirt.

And here’s Jo at the Foo Fighters in the summer with her Taylor Hawkins T-Shirt. Hope you had a great day, Jo, and thanks for the great photo and for buying from us.

See more lovely faces in Skwiggles T-Shirts right here

If you’ve been to a concert, or just have a good photo of you in your Skwiggles T-Shirt, let me know and I’ll put your lovely face above.

Our Diary

Here’s the key points from this week.

Friday

Look, I know I always go on about alien invasion, but you can’t deny it now, the Autons from Dr Who are real and they’re coming for us.

Saturday

We were supposed to go and see a Bruce Springsteen tribute band The Rising, but at the last minute they canceled, which left just nothing else to do but stay in the pub. I wasn’t drunk though look:

Sunday

Okay, I was a little bit drunk.

Diane said to me ‘Why don’t you go for a cup of coffee with your friends instead of going to the pub.’ And my face went like this

After 40 years of going to the pub, I couldn’t conceived of this conversation:

‘Hey you lot, instead of the pub tonight, shall we go for a medium Americano with hot milk and a brownie’

‘Great idea, Ian’

That’s an alternative universe too far.

Monday

We were strolling along the beach and then Norman dropped to his knees and started beating the sand with his paws.

‘You finally really did it… You Maniacs’ – Norman thought he saw the Statue of Liberty

Tuesday

This, according to Google memory notifications, was 7 years ago. Sky Portrait Artist of the Year.

Pre-Skwiggles days when I wanted to paint portraits. I got to meet Frank and paint Emile Sande which was good. Did this in 4 hours, it’s not brill and I didn’t win, but it was a great day.

Wednesday

My daughter Hannah was 25 today which makes me feel… ancient. Here’s a portrait I did of her a long time ago, somewhere close to when the universe first cooled and life crawled out of the primordial soup

Happy Birthday, Hannah

Thursday

I’m calling this one: ‘I Wonder Why I’m Lying on a Beach After Finding Lego?’

There’s a few questions you’ve got to ask about your life choices when you find yourself lying on a beach on a Thursday, lining up your dog with a piece of washed-up leggo, because you think it might be slightly amusing to someone somewhere.

Priority To-Do List

You can add your suggestion here:

Can be anything you want, as long as it's not rude or too sweary

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Before I go, one final attempt to make Norman look stupid

That’s it for now, have a great week. Come back soon.

Ian and Diane

6 Sept 24

Hope everyone is doing well.

I got Tubular Bells done from the list this week.

Photos

Here’s Stevie in his John Lydon T-shirt with, amazingly, John Lydon. Brilliant. John liked the T-shirt said Stevie and I’m over the moon with that. Thanks Stevie and thanks for buying the T-Shirt.

And here’s Ruth at the Foo Fighters in the summer with her Dave Grohl T-Shirt. Hope you had a great day, Ruth and thanks for the great photo and for buying from us.

See more lovely faces in Skwiggles T-Shirts right here

If you’ve been to a concert, or just have a good photo of you in your Skwiggles T-Shirt, let me know and I’ll put your lovely face above.

Our Diary

Here’s the key points from this week.

Friday

If it wasn’t for that sign I wouldn’t have taken care. Thank you sign.

Saturday

For me mam’s several-day 85th birthday celebrations, we went to the Crafty Workshop and painted a vase, here it is:

We did okay, considering the design change requirements every five minutes, and there weren’t enough butterflies or bees. Anyway, it’s a flowery scene. Here’s the finished product:

Sunday

Spotted some giant haystacks

Monday

I had to phone BT about the broadband, and the council about the blocked drains, and you know what, after hours on the phone I decided this was more productive:

Tuesday

Still going on about meeting Sir Chris.

I hate all the celebrity worship nowadays, for people who’ve done very little apart from having sparkly teeth. But seeing someone who’s had a great life was an absolute thrill.

And he was very nice.

Wednesday

Spotted a Giant Sea Centipede crawling out of the Solway Firth

Thursday

Norman’s Training: Day 954 – This is where bad dogs go. I’ve resorted to threats.

One day he will be good or else this:

That’s it for now, have a great week. Come back soon.

Ian and Diane

30 Aug 24

Hope everyone is doing well.

I got Talking Heads done from the list this week.

Photos

Thanks Richard for this great photo at the Highland MG Club. I hope The Mean Machine went down well with the MG crowd. Thanks for wearing and buying the T-Shirt.

And here’s Sam a very young Monty Python fan whose nickname down the Cricket Club is Spam, it all makes sense. Thanks Spam and Becca (his Mum) for the great photo and for buying the tee.

See more lovely faces in Skwiggles T-Shirts right here

If you’ve been to a concert, or just have a good photo of you in your Skwiggles T-Shirt, let me know and I’ll put your lovely face above.

Our Diary

Here’s the key points from this week.

Friday

I posted this on Facebook and said the invasion had begun.

I was very surprised by the reaction. Most people were happy to be taken over by the alien robot overlords. The consensus was, it’s better than what we’ve got now.

‘All Hail the Overlords’

Saturday

I got shouted at by an XL Bully owner. The dog wasn’t on a lead and was running towards us, so I put Norman on his lead.

‘What you doing? There’s nothing wrong with my dog. I’m sick of you people doing that. It’s not the dog’s fault it’s the owners. My dog would never bite anyone etc etc.’

The dog was very friendly, the owner wasn’t.

Sunday

Here’s a painting I did, according to Google, 10 years ago this week.

A farmer from down the road wanted me to paint the inside of his milking shed before he retired.

Monday

It’s bin day again and Diane still refuses to throw anything out, so I’ve put together this patronising training sheet

Diane has put together an alternative sheet on how to punch me in the face where it hurts the most, which is too graphic to publish.

Tuesday

Norman will eat almost anything, I won’t list them because it’s too revolting. But there’s one thing he finds absolutely disgusting – his monthly flea tablets. I really don’t understand why they make them so horrible to dogs. Once a month, I have to wrestle it into the back of his throat and hold his mouth shut, just like I did with the kids and broccoli.

He sulks with me for a few hours after that, because he’s never had bad things happen to him.

Wednesday

I did this about 12 years ago

Do children do this now or were we wimps?

Thursday

It was me mam’s 85th birthday so I got her tickets to see this:

It was bonkers and funny and brilliant, so if you’re near Keswick in the next few weeks I’d go and see it.

The famous Cloud Tree of Cumbria.

That’s it for now, have a great week. Come back soon.

Ian and Diane

23 Aug 24

Hope everyone is doing well.

I got Simon and Garfunkel done from the list this week.

Photos

How disappointing is this photo?

I went to see Moving Pictures (absolutely brilliant by the way) and persuaded my friends to buy Skwiggles T-Shirts (heavily discounted), so I could take a great photo to show you. I drank a few too many beers and when I woke up the next morning this was the best one of us I took on the night.

Luckily my friend took a slightly better one.

Phil, Me, Pete and Kev, all went to St Joseph’s School together.

(If you notice a shadowy head in the back, that’s Coney, we saw him at the concert. He also went to St Joseph’s School. He wasn’t wearing a Skwiggles T-shirt so was demoted to the back line.)

And here’s Ruth and her friend about to watch AC/DC at Croke Park, Dublin. They had a great night.
Thanks for the great photo Ruth and Friend and for buying the tees.

See more lovely faces in Skwiggles T-Shirts right here

If you’ve been to a concert, or just have a good photo of you in your Skwiggles T-Shirt, let me know and I’ll put your lovely face above.

Our Diary

Here’s the key points from this week.

Friday

Here’s another photo from our night out at the Moving Pictures gig

I did actually manage to take one good-ish photo of the band.

If you’re a Rush fan then you definitely need to go and see them. They played all the classics and the whole of Permanent Waves.

Saturday

I’ve used this several times on these pages.

But once again it’s an appropriate illustration of my Saturday.

Sunday

I was feeling better, so went for a walk. Norman likes to stand in a river with a stick but thinks humans are silly when they do it

Monday

This is the week we’ve had in Cumbria.

One day I was raging look – no clouds and only one strange creature.

Tuesday

The next day it was like this.

Norman, I don’t want to go out either, I can poo in the house.

I just prefer to do it outside.

Wednesday

We had a trip to Grasmere, And I always think Sarah isn’t putting her heart and soul into selling her gingerbread.

With one tiny adjustment, I think they could sell loads more. So I sketched this:

I’ll send it to them, see what they think.

Thursday

This just popped up on my Google Photos flashback. Norman on his first night with us.

I wish we still had that cage (I’m joking (am I?)) This photo is misleading because he looks quiet. Both our daughters slept through the night quicker than he did.

I was struggling to identify this, I think it’s a Velociraptor-Smilosaurus hybrid?

So I asked people online, and someone said it was Cumulo-grinasaurus which I think is correct.

That’s it for now, have a great week. Come back soon.

Ian and Diane

16 Aug 24

Hope everyone is doing well.

I got a narrowboat done from the list this week.

Photos

This is brill. Here’s Damian in his Bruce Dickinson T-shirt talking to Bruce Dickinson. Damian said Bruce loved the tee and I’m over the moon with that. Thanks for the great photo, and thanks again for buying from us.

And here’s Sue at Ashton Gate drinking a beer and watching Take That in her Skwiggles Take That T-shirt. Obviously she had a great time. Thanks for the great photo Sue and for buying the tee.

See more lovely faces in Skwiggles T-Shirts right here

If you’ve been to a concert, or just have a good photo of you in your Skwiggles T-Shirt, let me know and I’ll put your lovely face above.

Our Diary

Here’s the key points from this week.

Friday

We went to a pub in Edinburgh with this on the wall.

‘Norman was with us so I told him to be good and look as cute as he possibly could. We stayed there for a while (2 pints) and nothing.

‘Norman look cuter, for god’s sake.’

I was hoping it was a competition and you get a free pint.

No one came and took a photo for the wall. I told Norman he needed to try harder for next time. He’s on a strict training regime of how to look cute for beer.

Saturday

Shocking news – nice summer day in Cumbria and we went for a picnic.

Quick game – taking in all the clues on this photo, guess where the sandwiches are?

Sunday

I went on a Rush Tour.

Sorry, that was just for Rush fans.

Monday

It’s bin day again and, as usual, Diane won’t throw anything out

Tuesday

Look, houses for very thin people

Wednesday

Someone’s Olympic dreams are over judging by this strop.

Thursday

Spotted the three wise men on their way already.

Well, I thought it was the three wise men until a customer told me there was an alien invasion going on.

Our other dog, Lizzi, is sad because she’s not as much fun as Norman

That’s it for now, have a great week. Come back soon.

Ian and Diane

9 Aug 24

Hope everyone is doing well.

I got Eeyore done from the list this week.

Photos

Here’s Danny, loving life in Tenerife. Even though Cumbria’s climate is comparable, I’m jealous. Thanks for the great photo, and thanks again for buying the James tee

And here’s Paul, not in Tenerife or Atlantic City but in Porthleven. Also wish I was there Paul, and then you could buy me a beer. I’m very jealous this week  Thanks for the great photo and for buying the Bruce tee.

See more lovely faces in Skwiggles T-Shirts right here

If you’ve been to a concert, or just have a good photo of you in your Skwiggles T-Shirt, let me know and I’ll put your lovely face above.

Our Diary

Here’s the key points from this week.

Friday

We went to the Edinburgh Fringe for the weekend, and one show was the best jokes from the Edinburgh Fringe from previous years, here’s a few:

2023 – Lorna Rose Treen 

‘I started dating a zookeeper, but it turned out he was a cheetah.’

2022 – Masai Graham

‘I tried to steal spaghetti from the shop, but the female guard saw me and I couldn’t get pasta.’

2019 – Olaf Falafel

‘I keep randomly shouting out “Broccoli” and “Cauliflower” – I think I might have Florets.’

2018 – Adam Rowe

‘Working at the job centre has to be a tense job: knowing that if you get fired, you still have to come in the next day.’

Okay, that’s enough.

Saturday

Next morning me and Norman went up Arthur’s Seat

And as you can see from Norman’s expression, he didn’t rate it as much as the Lake District.

Sunday

On the way back from Edinburgh we always pass this sign and I always say ‘Ouch’

Further down the road we pass through

And when we get to the next smaller village after that I always say; ‘I like this little place but I wish it was … you guessed … Biggar.’

It’s totally hilarious and gets funnier every time, ask Diane.

I get bored on journeys.

Monday

You know I implied The Lake District was better than Scotland, well…

…I’m not sure. As you know there are a lot of monsters here.

Tuesday

My daughter went to Denmark and the Cumbrian clouds have moved over there as well. Look what she spotted, enhanced and sent to me, a Danish Cloud Octopus chasing a fish, incredible.

I have also infected her with toilet humour.

Wednesday

I watched Jeff Bridges’s True Grit again today

Still haven’t a clue what he was going on about.

Thursday

I don’t think Norman voted Conservative, but he was always inspired by that one thing that Theresa May was really good at.

I posted this on Facebook:

Look who we bumped into this morning

Not realsiing how much Rainbow creeped everyone out in the 70s. Sorry everyone for the reminder. But one good thing, Geoffrey wasn’t there – phew.

That’s it for now, have a great week. Come back soon.

Ian and Diane

2 Aug 24

Hope everyone is doing well.

I got Christine McVie done from the list this week.

Photos

Here’s Tracy, and I’m taking a guess she’s in Amsterdam. More worrying though, she is standing next to a shop selling sweatshirts, hoodies and maybe T-shirts. I hope you didn’t go in Tracy, once you’re a Skwiggles customer you can’t, it’s in the small print. Thanks for the great photo, and thanks again for buying from us.

And here’s Brian and his brother with their Luke Kelly T-shirts, talking to Irish singer George Murphy in the Cobblestone Bar, Dublin. Thanks for the great photo, Brian. Glad you had a great time and thanks for buying the tees.

See more lovely faces in Skwiggles T-Shirts right here

If you’ve been to a concert, or just have a good photo of you in your Skwiggles T-Shirt, let me know and I’ll put your lovely face above.

Our Diary

Here’s the key points from this week.

Friday

I watched the Olympic Opening Ceremony until me mam phoned saying her priest was outraged by the Last Supper scene.

Don’t tell me mam, but when does this

Look like this

Who’s the blue apostle, and to be honest who’s the other 14 of the 12 apostles?

Me mam got over it quickly, and she’s been watching nearly all the events. I went round the other day and she was loving the BMX Freestyle.

Saturday

I went out drinking with some old school friends again. We’ve known each other nearly 50 years and every time we prove Einstein correct.

No, we don’t do maths and think clever thoughts (ever).

Einstein: ‘Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.’

We’ve had the same conversation about 1000 times, We always go to the same pubs and drink far too much of the same beer and we’re always surprise about our same terrible hangovers.

One thing Einstein forgot to mention – it’s great.

Sunday

Like I said hangovers are bad, nothing more to say about today.

Monday

If you haven’t seen a swan recently it’s because they’re all here

Tuesday

We took Norman for his yearly jabs and check up, and they said he needs to lose a kg, I think I’ve spotted it

Sorry about the public fat shaming.

Just a reminder of Norman’s New Year’s Resolutions: Get fat.

Wednesday

Here’s a sketch I did years ago when I got a letter from school inviting me to an under eights recorder recital.

Thursday

I thought this might be a good idea at one point

Then thought it might be illegal, so didn’t bother

Look who I spotted this morning

That’s it for now, have a great week. Come back soon.

Ian and Diane

26 July 24

I got another Wacky Races done.

Photos

Here’s Nat, not only is she on her way to see Take That, she’s also in Barcelona in the sunshine, it doesn’t get any better than that. Thanks for the photo Nat and hope you enjoyed Barcelona. 

And thanks to Tony and Muttley in Spain. Muttley doesn’t look happy but I think that’s because Snoopy’s in the background. Hope you’re having a great holiday, Tony, and thanks for the brill photo.

See more lovely faces in Skwiggles T-Shirts right here

If you’ve been to a concert, or just have a good photo of you in your Skwiggles T-Shirt, let me know and I’ll put your lovely face above.

Our Diary

Here’s the key points from this week.

Friday

I picked up my daughter from her holidays in Zanti, and I was so proud of her. She proved to me she’s a true Cumbrian. She came back whiter than when she left.

I do not have a photo to prove this, because she wouldn’t let me take one.

That’s the Cumbrian Flag by the way, because we have flowers, grass and water, just like every other county. Where’s the mountains?

Saturday

I saw this notice board outside a National Trust Country House:

And wondered how this could’ve happened?

Who put the second one up there without phoning the first? Did someone want one, didn’t like it, and forget to take the other note down? Should I have phoned one and told them to phone the other? Does anyone want one or have one for sale? If so I’ll give you the numbers.

The main question is : Am I overthinking this?

Sunday

This sighting of Rufus last weekend, inspired me to do this week’s sketch.

I just wish he’d use the roads like everyone else

Monday

Google decided to remind me of the only review I’ve done on Google Reviews.

That must’ve been a boring day 7 years ago.

Tuesday

Did this sketch of the Woobie Brothers for a customer.

I’m not sure who the Woobie Brothers are, all I know is they like ice-cream.

Wednesday

I’ve found out how clouds stay in the air, mystery solved

This may just be a Cumbrian thing up because the clouds are so heavy.

Thursday

Also, super proud of Norman. He proved to me he is also a true Cumbrian. Every true Cumbrian pulls this face when the temperature gets over 20 degrees.

You wouldn’t think a creature like this could fly, but look

That’s it for now, have a great week. Come back soon.

Ian and Diane

19 July 24

There’s always lots of requests for more Monty Python, so here’s a classic

Photos

Here’s Marvin at Wembley, displaying his Skiwggles Back in Black T-shirt brilliantly. If everyone could point to their Skwiggles T-shirts when wearing them that would be amazing. Thanks Marvin for doing that and for buying from us. Hope you had a great night.

Also, Jim was there. So I hope you and Marvin got together, to create some sort of Skwiggles mini-mosh in front of Brian. Thanks Jim for sending in the photo and buying from us. Really appreciate that. 

See more lovely faces in Skwiggles T-Shirts right here

If you’ve been to a concert, or just have a good photo of you in your Skwiggles T-Shirt, let me know and I’ll put your lovely face above.

Our Diary

Here’s the key points from this week.

Friday

Did you realise that daisies were this dangerous?

If you see any, be sure to put cones and barriers around them.

Saturday

Here’s an insight into how much research I put into my Facebook posts, look at this one

And look how many ray guns I tried out

Norman nearly had his head taken off a couple of times.

Sunday

If anyone’s interested in this design, please let me know

Thought not.

England – A Fan’s Tournament Journey: Pessimistic, mild anger and disappointment, could we? could we really? FOOTBALL’S COMING HOME, crushing disappointment. Repeat every two/four years.

Monday

Martin, a Skwiggles customer, modified one of our designs.

Poor Gareth.

Tuesday

Mist Monster spotted on Bowscale Fell. Be careful, we were lucky to get away

Wednesday

I went up Glenridding Dodd to sketch because the sun came out. This is Ullswater.

This might sound idyllic, but you have to remember I had Norman with me. So imagine the sketching accompanied by a continual bleeting whine because he doesn’t like it when we’re not moving. Imagine me shouting at him because he’s wandered too far, and him running back and trying to chew my pencil out of my hand. After about 20 mins I gave up.

Thursday

More tales of my dedication to the cause. I watched this cloud for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn into the map of the UK.

But clouds don’t care what I want, so I left as it became a boring amorphous blob instead.

Norman was invited to the unveiling of a new plaque this morning

Finally, something to confirm what he already knew.

That’s it for now, have a great week. Come back soon.

Ian and Diane

12 July 24

Hope everyone is doing well.

Got Mark Cavendish done from the priority to-do list this week.

Photos

We recieved two photos from Carol at Hampden Park. She met Dave on the street and he said Skwiggles T-shirts are the best, the best, the best, the best he’s ever seen.  Thank you Carol for the great photos and for buying from us.

And thanks to Jason, who I’m thinking is in Amsterdam and going to see AC/DC, I know this through careful scrutiny of the photo and because he told me. Thanks Jason for the brill photo and thanks for buying from us.

See more lovely faces in Skwiggles T-Shirts right here

If you’ve been to a concert, or just have a good photo of you in your Skwiggles T-Shirt, let me know and I’ll put your lovely face above.

Our Diary

Here’s the key points from this week.

Friday

Last Friday was my birthday, yiphee, I made another year.

It’s a week after Diane’s, which makes me sound younger than her, but, more accurately, mine’s 155 weeks before hers. so we’ll stick with the first option. For continuity (and laziness) I’ve copied and pasted me into last week’s image.

We did almost exactly the same as we did last week. We had fried breakie and scones and cake and pizza and beer and stomach cramps, because we never learn. It was another great day.

Saturday

My daughter doesn’t believe that the Wall Chomper is real, can you believe?

So I took her to the coast to prove it and guess what? The tide was in and it wasn’t there.

I explained how rare a sighting is, but she still doesn’t believe me. And I said to her

Sunday

Diane’s a Tom Grennan fan, so I went with her to see him in Manchester. Here’s a high-quality photo.

We didn’t see a single Skwiggles T-shirt. Admittedly, I haven’t done a Tom Grennan one yet, but Lemmy or Slipknot would’ve fit the commercial pop rock vibe, I’m sure.

Monday

I’m not sure they’re going to be friends

Tuesday

Here’s another sketch I did for a customer last year.

Wednesday

Me mam has got my phone number confused with Handy Andy DIY Expert, because she keeps ringing me with emergencies, here’s last weeks.

‘My washing machine’s final spin isn’t working, my clothes are sodden, come round immediately.’

‘The fridge is leaking, pouring out the bottom, why aren’t you here to fix it?’

‘I need a new sofa, can you take this old one away?’

If this carries on, I’ll be dumping Skwiggles for a fresh start. I’ve already got the business cards printed.

Thursday

Got this from Just Giving, so thought I’d brag about it

Spotted a Norman Cloud

That’s it for now, have a great week. Come back soon.

Ian and Diane

5 July 24

Got Angus coloured in from the priority to-do list this week.

Photos

We got a couple of photos from Glastonbury’s Ribbon Tower this week. Thank you to Dougie, who’s wearing his Skwiggles Ribbon Tower T-shirt. Brill photo, and Dougie had a great time he said. Thanks for buying from us.

And thanks also to Justin, in his Dave Grohl tee. Justin goes most years, but this year was the best because he had a Skwiggles tee (he didn’t say that last bit, but I assume it’s true). Thanks Justin, glad you enjoyed it and thanks for buying from us.

See more lovely faces in Skwiggles T-Shirts right here

If you’ve been to a concert, or just have a good photo of you in your Skwiggles T-Shirt, let me know and I’ll put your lovely face above.

Our Diary

Here’s the key points from this week.

Friday

Last Friday was The Best Customer Services Manager in the World’s birthday. And she looked like this all day.

We had fried breakie and scones and cake and pizza and beer and stomach cramps. It was a great day.

Saturday

We went to Edinburgh to see our daughter and we went to Mowgli’s Restaurant.

One, I need a new phone with a better camera, and two, do you know the amount of selfies that have to be taken when you go out with your family who are three females? 783 is the answer. The dinner went cold, worse, my beer went flat, the staff went home and the sun came up heralding a new dawn, and the selfies continued. I took one (above).

Sunday

Norman usually likes to stay positive, but look – he’s recently discovered that the grass is greener on the other side.

Monday

Me and Norman have been getting into our modern art. So we thought we’d show you a few pieces dotted around the countryside. This one ‘The Pointless Gate’ shows the futility and despair of trying to do everything on your own.

Without collaboration, it seems to be saying, you’re efforts are nothing, No matter how great a job you’re doing, how secure your latch is, how solid your framework, it comes to nothing, if someone forgets to put a blinkin’ fence up. Powerful stuff from this farmer, sorry artist.

Tuesday

I thought I’d show you a quick photo of our house.

Not sure this is the best view, because it’s about 140 miles behind that massive castle.

Wednesday

Here’s a commission I did for Gone Savage’s new album.

Thursday

Polling Day, and Norman voted early.

Norman may have got this one right. Graeme is assertive, he’s got a lovely waistcoat and gives out treats when needed. That’s the usual criteria I use to vote.

It’s not often you see a giant pig and poodle coming towards your town.

That’s it for now, have a great week. Come back soon.

Ian and Diane

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