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30 June 2023

Got one done from the suggestions list this week – Mott the Hoople

A slightly modified All the Young Dudes album cover to include Ian Hunter.

Photos

Thank you Tony, all the way from a cool-looking bar in Playa Blanca, Steve, with all his Skwggles T-shirts (thanks for buying so many), and Sam getting drunk in his back garden. Thank you all of you xxx

If you’ve been to a concert with your Skwiggles T-Shirt, or just have a good photo of you in your Skwiggles T-Shirt, or a friend or a stranger or anyone, let me know and I’ll put your lovely face above.

Actually updated our gallery page, for the first time in ages. so if you want to look at more unbelievably lovely people in Skwiggles T-shirt …

…click right here

Our Diary

Here’s the key points from our week

Friday

General attempt to make Norman look silly

Saturday

Just another normal day in my town

Becoming a Scout leader is a genius strategy for recruiting the younglings. Note also, he’s got his own brass band for the Imperial March. Vader knows what he’s doing.

I was beginning to worry though, when he looked at me I did feel a constriction in my throat.

Sunday

Went for a long walk along the side of Bassenthwaite Lake and it got warm so I felt the need to stop at The Pheasant Inn for ‘refreshment’. I had a beer, Norman got to lick the sweat off my face. Win – win.

Monday

There were a load of cows in a field walking in a line to a water trough, and I saw a woman watching them, so I started a conversation, in the only way I know how, by saying something inane.

‘Wonder who decides when to go?’ I said, looking at the cows.

‘Well, it’s the one at the front, obviously. Cows are herd animals,’ she replied, in a tone that was bordering on stern.

‘That guy must be the bossy one then,’ I continue, foolishly.

Well, it’s not a guy is it? They’re all female.’

(FYI – I know cows are girls, because I’m not that thick. I was using ‘guy’ in the cool non-gender specific way, like my daughter does when she says ‘Hey guys’ to me and Diane when she walks into a room – over explaining over)

‘I hope there’s enough in the trough,’ stop talking you idiot.

‘Well, it’s plumbed in, look there, so of course there will….’

I moved on, and made a mental note to improve my small talk on the subject of cows.

Tuesday

Not sure how this defibrillator works

I actually prised the door open to see if the telephone was still working. It was, but there was mould on the receiver and the flies didn’t like me being there.

Wednesday

The best Customer Services Manager in the Universe had a birthday today. Love you xxx

As always, I picked a photo where she was wearing a Skwiggles T-shirt

Thursday

I watched Mad Mad Fury Road and it reminded me of our town’s bypass on a Saturday night.

We got a lyrics suggestion last week, I didn’t put a box for a name so don’t know who submitted it, but they were apologetic it was Robbie Williams. No need, totally agree with these lyrics. Thanks for submitting.

I’m contemplating thinking about thinking
It’s overrated just get another drink inROBBIE WILLIAMS

If you have some favourite lyrics, let me know

Could be daft, meaningful, inspiring, whatever you likeArtistYour nameSubmit

If you live near me, keep your children indoors if they look ‘juicy and yummy’, Roald Dahl’s Enormous Crocodile has moved into the neighbourhood.

That’s it for now. Have a great week. Come back soon.

Ian and Diane

What do you say Rooster?

23 June 2023

Hope everyone is doing well.

Got two done from the suggestions list this week – Field of Dreams and Steely Dan.

Photos from Springsteen

Here’s a few photos from the Bruce Springsteen concert at Villa Park last week. I was a bit gutted because I never saw anyone in a Skwiggles t-Shirt, although I got a lot of emails, so people were there.

Thank you Gordon, Sarah, George and Martin.

Our Diary

Here’s the key points from our week

Friday

Here’s some photos of us at Bruce. I think we’re singing Born to Run on that photo, luckily it wasn’t a video because the vocals needed a lot of work, well Pete’s diid

Saturday

I met a comedy genius at breakfast in Birmingham. The man who guides you to your table. He spotted our Springsteen T-Shirts, and said:

‘Follow me, I’ll show you to your table, I can’t go very fast because I wasn’t born to run.’

We laughed and when we got to the table

‘Enjoy your meal, hope you’ve got a hungry heart.’

We chuckled again.

Now that’s funny, obviously, but nothing compared to what happened for the next hour.

Next customer.

‘Follow me, I’ll show you to your table, I can’t go very fast because I wasn’t born to run.’

‘Enjoy your meal, hope you’ve got a hungry heart.’

It was word for word.

Next customer, the same, next customer the same.

Everyone in the restaurant started whispering to each other: ‘He’s said it again, same thing exactly.’ And they started repeating. The whole restaurant was now involved. Here’s the full 60-minute comedy script.

‘Follow me, I’ll show you to your table, I can’t go very fast because I wasn’t born to run.’

‘Enjoy your meal, hope you’ve got a hungry heart.’

‘He’s said it again, same thing exactly’

After three cups of coffee, two slices of toast and a fry up, there was two ways to go: my god that’s irritating or my god that’s comedy genius. I chose the latter. The power of repetition. The man had a winning formula, there was crowd participation, brilliant.

Sunday

On Father’s Day I forced everyone to go and see Into the Spiderverse. We web-slung (is that a word?) through a load of multi-verses, with a billion different Spidermen, women and pigs. Well I did. 30 minutes in, I looked along the row and the family were all asleep.

By the way, ignore the snoozers, it was good.

Monday

After a busy weekend, felt a bit like this

Tuesday

Today was our wedding anniversary, 31 years married to this character

She’s only ever punched me once in 31 years. It was supposedly an accident. I may have said something irritating (can you believe) and she said she was doing a pretend punch just for fun which got a little too close and gave me a pretend burst lip with blood that wasn’t pretend.

Wednesday

I don’t paint that much anymore because of the Skwiggling commitments, here’s one I did after a trip to New York years ago. As you can see, it rained. Big fat rain that we never got in the UK until this year.

Thursday

I was walking in the park and someone shouted ‘Yey, look…’ I was thrilled someone was so please to see me ‘…it’s Norman.’ I walked down the street ‘Hello…’ I look up ‘… Norman, what you been up to?’ Across the river ‘Hey Fido, look there’s Norman over there.’ Norman has got loads of friends, all of them really enthusiastic to see him. I am an extension to his lead.

One of my favourite songs is Solsbury Hill by Peter Gabriel. As with a lot of Peter Gabriel lyrics, I’m not entirely sure what he’s trying to say, so you have to make up the meaning yourself. Here’s what these lyrics mean to me: Peter’s surrounded by nature, eagles are flying out of the night, he’s just packed in Genesis and his heart is telling him – stuff all that, you’re free, let’s go. I like the mysterious, reassuring person who says ‘Grab your things, I’ve come to take you home.’ We all need that mysterious person in our lives.

I was feeling part of the scenery
I walked right out of the machinery
My heart going “Boom-boom-boom”
“Hey”, he said
“Grab your things, I’ve come to take you home”PETER GABRIEL

If you have some favourite lyrics, let me know

Could be daft, meaningful, inspiring, whatever you likeArtistYour nameSubmit

I saw this photo online this week that I’m very jealous of

That’s it for now. Have a great week. Come back soon.

Ian and Diane

16 June 2023

Got three done from the suggestions list this week – Gary Rossington, Steven Van Zandt and, of course, Beyonce.

Tiny explanation on that last one in case you think I’ve gone mad. That’s Beyonce’s hand after she says ‘If you liked it then you shoulda put a ring on it’ I hope that in some way explains it. If not, move on and we’ll never talk about it again.

Look at these photos

All these amazing people have been to see Pink this week (in their Skwiggles T Shirts). Thank you Simone, Joanna, Andrea, Carina, and another Andrea. Bet you had a great night and thanks for buying from us x

Our Diary

Here’s the key points from our week

Friday

I can’t stop listening to podcasts about AI, and how we’re all going to be out of a job, because we’re useless bags of flesh scheduled to be terminated by Arnie-like robots. So I tried out some AI art to test the water before I snapped up all my pencils.

I typed in ‘Angus Young from AC/DC in a squiggly style’ (squiggly spelt the correct but uncool way) into openart.ai to see what it came up with. Bear in mind, if it came up with something great I wouldn’t have shown you. Here it is:

It’s a good effort, but phew (for now). Love the guitar but not sure what that squiggly monster is in front of him.

Saturday

I went out with some old friends from school for a couple of beers. We’ve known each other since we were 8, and stayed friends, mainly because we couldn’t be bothered making any new ones. We usually meet in the pub which is great because we can’t remember what we talked about last time, so we can say the same things every time. Makes it easier.

Sunday

Slow morning, then it got hot and I decided to have a slow afternoon and that completely tired me out so I relaxed in the evening.

Monday

These signs make me feel nostalgic for the times when children did kick a ball about.

Tuesday

I did this picture using Artrage on my iPad for a friend’s daughter’s birthday.

Wednesday

I told you I was obsessed, here’s what Openart.ai came up with when I typed in ‘Angus Young as Mr Blobby’. It’s a little disturbing.

Thursday

Took Norman down to the lake

Don’t worry it got away.

I’m not sure I told you this but I’m going to see Bruce Springsteen today, so guess what, here’s one of my favourite Bruce lyrics. I was 20 when it came out, and my only wish is that I was 16 and it was the last day of the summer term. Doesn’t matter, still love it.

Well, we busted out of class
Had to get away from those fools
We learned more from a three-minute record, baby
Than we ever learned in schoolBRUCE SPRINGSTEEN

If you have some favourite lyrics, let me know

Could be daft, meaningful, inspiring, whatever you likeArtistYour nameSubmit

I have to leave you with Don and Carrie who were sitting a few rows away from each other at the Roger Waters concert last week and they noticed each other’s Skwiggles T-shirts, so they made friends and took this photo. Absolutely love it.

It’s not a romance, they’re both married and I’m not Cilla Black, so there isn’t going to be a Skwiggles wedding.

That’s it for now. Have a great week. Come back soon.

Ian and Diane

9 June 2023

Got three done from the suggestions list this week – The Mandalorian, Dougie MacLean and Bruce Dickinson

Here’s a few customers who’ve been out and about at concerts in the last week or so. Lesley at Muse, Mick at Roger Waters, Tommy at Springsteen and Jeff at the Royal Albert Hall to see Jeff Beck. Thank you all of you, they’re brilliant.

Our Diary

Here’s the key points from our week

Friday

It’s shopping day and why do I insist on carrying as many bags as possible at once from the car. Is it to show off my manliness to Diane? I don’t think so, we’ve been married 30 years and she knows I’m not Maximus Decimus Meridius.

Is it to save time? No, because I can’t get through the doors, a handle always breaks and a yoghurt splatters before I can get to the lino. Or is it for the same reason I stack all the cold stuff in a tower to take it to the fridge in the garage in one, making sure to put the 4 litres of milk at the very top.

Being useless is useful.

Saturday

I made Diane ill for two days. Also known as, we had a bbq. She was the only one who had the chicken kebabs.

Sunday

Went to the beach with Norman

Incredible how that sea monster is able to swim in that much water.

Monday

Went back to the street I grew up on and it reminded me of playing curby. I’m sure that’s a global game, but a few people I talked to have never heard of it. The rules are simple: you stand on either side of the street, throw a football aiming for the curb. If you hit the curb the ball bounces back to you and you get a point and another throw. The aim of the game is to not get punched in the face by your big brother when you keep beating him.

Is Curby a real game?

Yes, always played it
No, you made it up

Submit

Tuesday

I heard my daughter listening to Supertramp in her bedroom and I thought maybe she’d decided to change her musical ways for the better, so I shouted up.

Me: Didn’t know you liked Supertramp?

Daughter: Who?

Me: What you’re listening to, Breakfast in America by Supertramp.

Daughter: Dad, you idiot. This is Cupid’s Chokehold by Gym Class Heroes.

Then someone started rapping in a deep voice which I couldn’t remember Roger Hodgson doing.

So I made a quick decision: rant about how new music rips off old music all the time or go back into the living room and watch reruns of Star Trek and Magnum PI. I went back into the living room.

Wednesday

I found a box full of sketches I’d forgotten about in the shed, so thought I’d share the top layer.

Thursday

Met this bloke. He said he’d thrown three doubles and did I have £50 to get him out.

I told him I was skint, so he’d have to wait until I passed Go.

If you really want to know how far I will go to win at Monopoly, then this is the page for you:

Monopoly

My daughter’s going to see the Arctic Monkeys at the weekend, and Alec Turner’s lyrics are brill

I wanna be your vacuum cleaner
Breathing in your dust
I wanna be your Ford Cortina
I will never rust
If you like your coffee hot
Let me be your coffee pot
You call the shots, babe
I just wanna be yoursALEX TURNER – ARCTIC MONKEYS

She isn’t wearing the Skwiggles Arctic Monkeys T-Shirt, can you believe that? There’s about three bags from Boohoo just arrived and we can’t compete with that.If you have some favourite lyrics, let me know

Could be daft, meaningful, inspiring, whatever you likeArtistYour nameSubmit

Security Alert: Poo bags have become artificially intelligent and are escaping bins. Look

Plastic bottles and crisp packets also seem to be sentient.

That’s it for now. Have a great week. Come back soon.

Ian and Diane

From 2 June 2023

As for the suggestions this week, I haven’t done any sorry. Went away at the weekend, it was a bank holiday, Father’s day coming up… and a load of other incredibly poor excuses.

Here’s Helen’s husband to change the subject

Sorry, Helen’s husband I didn’t get your name but thanks for buying and thanks to your wife for sending these in.

Our Diary

Here’s the key points from our week

Friday

Took Norman to the big city – Edinburgh. He was as out of place as me. Took him to play with some big city dogs.

He lived up to his name – no mates

Saturday

Diane and our daughter, Hannah went to a Tina Turner tribute, look.

I insisted they take a photo, preferably on stage with pretend Tina, but this one is close enough.

I went out with Jake, my daughter’s boyfriend. We got drunk round some pubs for old people that he’d never been to, because he’s 40 years too young. He kept saying ‘That looks like one you would like.’ and through the window I saw grey-haired men drinking bitter and sighing deeply, and I thought ‘you’re absolutely right.’ Enjoyed it.

Sunday

We went to Stockbridge Market in Edinburgh. If you can imagine there were noodles, paella, pork smells wafting around with chilli sauce, the most amazing brownies you’ve ever seen. Me and Norman stood in the centre of this and had a who could slaver the most competition.

I asked Norman to describe his Stockbridge Market experience – since he only thinks in images this is what to told me.

Monday

Carlisle United, despite being one of the favourites to go down, were promoted yesterday and I know that will be a thrill to you all. I’m a complete fake fan but will definitely be going to games next year, only the ones they’re going to win and if it’s not raining.

If you want to hear a very similar inspiring footballing story then here:

Cumbria Cup

Tuesday

Bruce was in Edinburgh today (he must’ve waited till I’d left). Here’s a customer, Tommy at the Springsteen concert in his Atlantic City Skwiggles tee. Thanks for sending us that, bet it was brilliant.

Wednesday

I was in the loft, because men go in lofts every now and again, and found this old painting from years ago.

I’m not sure what I was trying to do with this. I think the theme was supposed to be something like the power of innocence or knowing too much or be brave, or get inside you idiot theirs a dragon on your balcony.

Thursday

Just to give you a little insight into my hometown, here we don’t have a drive through to get our steak bakes, we have a gallop through.

Diane chose the lyrics this week, and she keeps singing them to me non-stop

You’re simply the best
Better than all the rest
Better than anyone
Anyone I’ve ever metTINA TURNER

After a quick peer review she said she prefers ‘You’d better be good to me’ or ‘Typical Male’ or ‘We don’t need another Ian’ (I don’t remember that last one)

Here’s a photo of either mine and Diane’s last moments on this planet or a Tesco driver who forgot someone’s sourdough and had to go back.

Or it was being towed in front of us, but that one’s too obvious to be true.

That’s it for now. Have a great week. Come back soon.

Ian and Diane