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23 February 24
I got Joe Pesci – Goodfellas done from the priority to-do list this week.
Photos
Thank you to Jenny for sending in this photo. She was at a Kiss tribute band, Kisstake. I think Kisstake had better start their end-of-the-road tour soon because if the originals are anything to go by, it’ll take them 10 years to complete it. Thanks for the great photo Jenny.
And, also thank you to Sue who went to see the magnificent Rick Wakeman last week. Bet that was a great night. Thanks Sue.
See more lovely faces in Skwiggles T-Shirts right here
If you’ve been to a concert, or just have a good photo of you in your Skwiggles T-Shirt, let me know and I’ll put your lovely face above.
Our Diary
Here’s the key points from this week.
Friday
Once again, our daughter had a friend staying at ours after a night out. I can’t decide what I enjoyed the most – Norman barking for 10 minutes at 4.00am while they found their keys, the running up and down stairs for no reason or the loud puking in the toilet.
Luckily for them, I remember those days well, and therefore I eased down on the speech about moderation and responsibility so they couldn’t give me a counter-speech about being a total hypocrite.
Saturday
All I said was ‘Stop eating sheep poo’ and he took a right huff
Sunday
I met one of me Mam’s friends while shopping.
‘Are you Lea’s son?’
‘Yes, that’s me. How are you?’
She turned to her friend and said. ‘He used to be a handsome boy, but I hardly recognised him now.’
And you know what, I was happy with that. I was probably 18 years old last time I saw her and I remember there was a couple of days that year, when the light was low in the sky, and glowing softly, when I may have gotten away with handsome if you were across the street without your glasses on. I’m glad she remembered me that way.
Monday
You know the scumbags who blatantly steal from the co-op, Norman’s one of them.
I was walking passed the pet shop (admittedly not the Co-op) he ripped his head out of his lead, ran in and stole one of those chewy toothbrushes from beside the counter and legged it out of the shop.
He didn’t have a mask, wasn’t worried about CCTV, I can only say he must’ve got that from watching the news. I will be taking him to the Co-op to see if he can get some sourdough and a couple of eggs for my breakfast tomorrow.
Tuesday
Norman look…
…stinky, disgusting and totally chewable, he loves those crocs.
The cat is from about three streets away. It looks cute, but it’s a cold-blooded serial killer who leaves rotten corpses all over the grassy bit for Norman to eat and puke up.
Wednesday
I am Gok Wan for 80 year olds
I sent this Snapchat to Diane when I was out with me Mam. Me Mam loves a charity shop and I spotted this hat and I bunged it on her head.
After that her friends Mavis, Irene and Muriel all wanted one and I think me Mam’s going back for it now.
I am now setting up a website giving fashion advice to the over-80s, specialising in hats of a purple hue.
Thursday
Here’s a couple of Dr Who sketches I did a while ago, hope you like them
Just to let you know Norman’s statue is still there in the park
That’s it for now, have a great week. Come back soon.
Ian and Diane
16 February 24
I got Nuno Bettencourt done from the priority to-do list this week.
Photos
Thank you to Pete for sending this in. We’re honoured to be included on the wall of the Loughborough Rock Club. Brill.
And, also thank you to Robert for buying these Rush prints and putting them up in his office.
See more lovely faces in Skwiggles T-Shirts right here
If you’ve been to a concert, or just have a good photo of you in your Skwiggles T-Shirt, let me know and I’ll put your lovely face above.
Our Diary
Here’s the key points from this week.
Friday
Like everyone on the planet I was into Breaking Bad a few years ago and I did these sketches, so thought I’d show you them.
Saturday
Only an old fool would slip on this (very slippy) bridge and fall in the water. Norman, shut it, or no treats
On the way home I got stuck at some temporary traffic lights. I was there for ages. A woman knocked on my window and rightly spoke to me as if I was a two-year-old.
‘Is this your first time on the road, Mr Silly? The lights won’t change until you drive up to them.’
The cars in front of me were all parked and I didn’t realise it. I could’ve grown old and died there if it wasn’t for her. Thank you patronizing woman.
Sunday
I went to the beach.
I hoped for a pot of gold, got Norman.
Monday
Rare sighting of a Cumbrian River Dragon, only appears once every 2000 years on a Tuesday, incredibly lucky to see it
Tuesday
It’s Shrove Tuesday and as you all know it’s a day of getting ready for lent, a day of self-examination, of considering what wrongs you need to repent, and what amendments of life or areas of spiritual growth you especially need to ask God’s help in dealing with.
You can either do that or make pancakes with nutella on. I know which one I did – sorry mam.
Wednesday
Norman got a mystery Valentine’s Day card
He hopes it’s Mabel who he runs after in the park. Mabel is a dog, by the way.
Thursday
Me mam was doing her physio on her broken (but slowly mending) arm. She said yesterday that she thought things were getting a lot better, because her wrist didn’t feel too bad at all. Then she realised she was doing the exercises on the wrong arm.
Spotted this sign, to be honest I didn’t realise cows were such fast drivers
That’s it for now, have a great week. Come back soon.
Ian and Diane
9 February 24
I got one done from the priority to-do list this week, Miles Davis.
Photos
Thank you to Donald, who had a significant birthday this week. Here he is on the big day with his granddaughter Ava. Both look amazing in their Skwiggles T-Shirts, obviously. Hope you had a great day Donald, you too Ava, and thanks for the photos.
And, also Happy Birthday to Sam, whose fiance bought him the Skwiggles Minas Tirith T Shirt. Hope you also had a great day Sam and thanks for the photo.
See more lovely faces in Skwiggles T-Shirts right here
If you’ve been to a concert, or just have a good photo of you in your Skwiggles T-Shirt, let me know and I’ll put your lovely face above.
Our Diary
Here’s the key points from this week.
Friday
I managed Dry January.
But February has started very wet. I went to the pub because a friend was leaving the area. When I’m doing something I think it’s wise to consult the advice of experts. Shane MacGowan said ‘buy me beer or whisky cos I’m going far away’ and ‘when the world is too dark and I need the light inside of me, I’ll walk into a bar and drink fifteen pints of beer.’
So that’s what I did (not fifteen pints because that would kill me).
Saturday
I went to the pub again with some old school friends, and talked about stuff from 40 years ago, which we always do. We’ve had the same conversation for 40 years, because after 6 pints we can’t remember what the ‘eck we were going on about last time.
It takes the pressure off trying to think of new things to say.
Sunday
A double hangover day. I didn’t go to the pub again, but had a glass of wine in the evening, just to decompress from all the drinking, you can’t just stop cold it’s dangerous.
Monday
Found this on the loft.
I painted this years ago for a portrait competition. I even emailed Melvyn himself to see if he had a photo I could use and he sent me one. Didn’t win or get anywhere near the short-list. Sorry Melvyn.
Tuesday
I’ve never felt this interesting before.
Wednesday
I just got one of those Google flashbacks of a quiet day in February at the Quayside Market in Newcastle in 2020
I was so bored that day, I drew the tumbleweed on my phone and posted it on Facebook asking if anyone want to come for a chat. Before Covid I used to go there every Sunday, rain, wind or shine. It was a long day but I loved it.
Thursday
Took me mam to get her cast off, shocking news, there was a long wait. She was an impatient patient. I tried to be patient non-patient by using the excellent advice of the sage of all hospital waiting rooms, Gary.
I don’t want to end this week on a downer but look at this guy.
I said ‘Cheer up, it might never happen’ which always works, but it didn’t. So I took a huff and said ‘Who cares then, cry me a river.’ That didn’t work either.
That’s it for now, have a great week. Come back soon.
Ian and Diane
2 February 24
I got one done from the priority to-do list this week, you’ll be glad to know, Courtney Taylor-Taylor from The Dandy Warhols.
Photos
Thank you to Darrell, who’s wearing his Hugh Cornwell T-Shirt and he’s with Hugh Cornwell, it doesn’t get any better than that. Hope you had a great night Darrell and thanks for the photo.
And thank you to Tony at the Geddy Lee ‘My ‘Effin Life’ night. Brill photo Tony, and I really wish I’d gone to that.
See more lovely faces in Skwiggles T-Shirts right here
If you’ve been to a concert, or just have a good photo of you in your Skwiggles T-Shirt, let me know and I’ll put your lovely face above.
Our Diary
Here’s the key points from this week.
Friday
The website went down, which it often does on Friday because of the newsletter traffic (sorry). I always phone the company who host our website, the server experts, I call them ironically.
‘Do you know why it’s gone down?’
‘Nope.’
‘Is there any way you can stop it doing it?’
‘Nope.’
‘Are you an expert in setting up servers for e-commerce websites?’
‘Nope.’
‘You said you were.’
I lied. Please fill in the Satisfaction Questionnaire at the end of this call.
Saturday
Look what happened:
Norman wasn’t happy, and, yes, he can read.
Sunday
You remember a couple of weeks ago when I was accused of stealing £50 off me mam? Well, for those of you still worried about my impending prison sentence, the bank have been in touch and the £50 got sucked back into the machine and it’s back in her account.
‘Well I don’t think you would do it’
Was the only words that came close to forgiveness.
I’m free to live my life.
Monday
Spotted my book The Lake District Survival Guide in prime position at the till of Waterstones.
Can’t wait for my £1.50 in royalty fees to come in next month.
Tuesday
Spotted this stone, eco-friendly, Dalek. Wonder if it will still want to destroy the planet.
A customer, Colin, explained this situation. It was a Dalek who came worse off in an encounter with a Weeping Angel obviously.
Wednesday
My daughter’s boyfriend’s car broke down outside our house. The engine light was flashing. I know his Dad used to be a car mechanic, so I tried to be more manly than I am when he asked my advice.
‘Yeah, I think your tappets are knocking
( I heard someone say that once)
Or your big end could’ve gone and snapped your rod causing your sub-woofer to distort.
(I was freewheeling now)
He looked impressed until I mentioned dilithium crystals.
In my defence, that engine light could be absolutely anything, and is so general it’s next to useless.
Thursday
That reminded me of a cartoon I did ages ago.
The open door to the butcher’s van is like the Gates of Heaven to Norman. I had him on the lead, don’t worry, and used every ounce of my unbelievable strength to keep him out.
That’s it for now, have a great week. Come back soon.
Ian and Diane