Norman’s Walk – Oct 2022
It’s been another busy month walking with Norman. I’ve learnt a lot. For starters, I didn’t realise that one of our neighbours works at Jurassic Park.
And when I saw this in the local woods I was right round to their house to report it.
That was the same day a new attraction opened in town. I’m really not sure I fancy it if I’m honest
Even if I wanted to go, I couldn’t because my van keeps going missing.
If you see this, let me know, he hasn’t passed his test yet. I’ve never seen him get road rage but, in slow-moving traffic, he does get path rage.
You’ll be glad to know, Norman’s made a few more cloud friends this month.
The last one is the Star Child from 2001: A Space Odyssey and that thing in the foreground is Norman’s butt. He’s probably found a dead sandwich or a Greggs sausage roll that’s still alive.
Talking of clouds, before our walks he always checks the forecast.
I keep telling him there’s less crime up north, but remember this from last month.
And the fact it got nicked.
Well I’ve found it and reported it to the police.
What an upright citizen I am. And as part of this ongoing public service, I’m still logging the aliens. No one seems to be taking this seriously, not even them, look:
Too smiley, I don’t trust it. And I’ll have to report that dinosaur tree in the background to my neighbour. Poor Norman got chased by one of those aliens the other week.
He was terrified.
But not as terrified as I was when I saw this. Remember the Spirit of Dark and Lonely Waters from the 1970s – well he’s back back back back.
Norman didn’t seem to be too worried, but that reminded me not to use that weak, rotten tree branch when I’m dangling myself over deep water filled with washing machines and old cars.
70s public information films were traumatising, so much so I’ve already written about them right here – Public Information Films
I think you’ll agree, all the evidence is mounting for an alien invasion. I saw an R2 Series Astromech Droid in the woods yesterday morning.
And Elon Musk, who lives just down the road, is trying to leave the planet and been messing around with warp drive in his bedroom.
Norman thinks we should go and live in the woods to escape the aliens. I caught him watching Predator last week and he wasn’t too happy when I told him he looked nothing like Arnie.
Norman could easily survive in the wild, his senses are razor-sharp, and nothing gets by him. Oh wait, no they’re not.
But this vicious predator would definitely be fine.
I won’t be going in there anytime soon.
That’s a bit of a summary of my October walks with Norman. Don’t worry about the alien invasion though, I think it’s important not to panic no matter what.
Don’t worry about that guy, he’s lost his ring and he always makes a fuss. Don’t let the panic spread.
Have a great weekend.
Take care and all the best,
Ian
(If you want to leave a comment below, that would be great)
Hilarious. I think Norman needs his own Instagram page.
Haha, he would like that. Have a great weekend 🙂
Brilliantly Bonkers !! Love the tree planting in one of your photos! Yep and I agree with Lisa….Norman is a rising star and needs his own platform!
Haha, thanks Karen. Norman is taking over, I’m sure he’s in with the aliens 🙂
Brilliant as always .. heading to Ambleside as I’m reading this..
Live Normans adventures.
Thanks Caroline. Enjoy Ambleside, it’s not raining in the northern lakes at the moment, so fingers crossed. Enjoy your adventures 🙂
Brilliant. I look forward to your Friday missives.
Thanks Andy. Have a great weekend 🙂
Best one yet Ian, hubby is looking at me as if really lost the plot this time. When you see something in the clouds all sorts of weird and wonderful things appear, well I’m with you anyway.
Thanks Lainey, those clouds do strange things to your mind. Glad you enjoyed it 🙂
Norman for Prime Minister!
Haha, I’ll send him out into the street knocking on doors 🙂
Great set of pics Ian. ‘ Swim in Poo’ lol.
And, loved the work with the clouds…especially the dragon.
And yes, I am ancient enough to remember those Public Infoscarymation films……scared the stuff they fill the swimming poo with out of me I can tell you?
Keep up the more than average work Ian……my your skwiggling go on 4eva ( sorry for the yoof speak, I’m 57 for flips sake…….GROW UP!!!!……..No!!!!)
Thanks Andy, yeah, didn’t fancy the new attraction in town. Just about understood the yoof speak even though I’m 56. Don’t think you should grow up, sounds boring 🙂 Enjoy your weekend
Love these emails thanks
Brilliant. I look forward to your Friday missives.
Brilliant, these emails are a ray of sunshine half way through my shift every Friday. I did think that last cloud was Baby Groot but I’ll bow to your greater knowledge…..keep up the good work (and love to Norman)
Thanks Lyn, glad it’s helped you through your shift. Hope the second half goes quickly. Could easily be Baby Groot 🙂 Enjoy your weekend. Norman sends his love back
I’m making no assumptions as I’ve fallen down that hole before! One of you has an incredible eye for spotting the Alien Invasion! But quick, send these to the new Foreign Secretary to ensure they get taxed properly, perhaps even a special Alien Windfall Tax?
Just brilliant as always, thanks to all……
Thanks David, I feel it’s my duty to document the invasion and the impending doom of the human race, maybe we need an Alien Invasion Secretary. I will email immediately. Also, I’ll get your sketch done over the weekend 🙂
Great craic as usual!
Has Norman thought of joining Men in Black ? He would make a great partner for Frank the pug ? ? ?
I will suggest that to him 🙂 Maybe Norman is an alien, like Frank. Never thought of that. I will investigate.
Ah those 70s public information films – I still hate going on escalators, scarred me for life!! Great email as always thanks Ian & Norman of course ?
Yes, the escalator one was potentially gruesome. Very scary world back then, but we survived 🙂
Brilliant n made me laugh. ?
I look forward to these on Fridays.
Keep em coming xx
Thanks Debbie, glad you like them 🙂
I am rollng! I’ll never look at clouds the same, thanks for the much needed humor in this crazy world. My Max could be Norman’s twin…he’s equally ferocious! :/
Thanks Pam, there’s a lot to see up there in the sky. Norman says Hi to Max 🙂
Aw! Wacky Races!