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25 Aug 23
I got two done from the list this week, Bono and a Mark 1 Cortina
Photos
Thanks to Keith in his Abbey Road T-shirt at Strawberry Field, Andrea, somewhere exotic and Tony’s gallery in his hallway. Thank you everyone, and thanks for buying from us.
If you’ve been to a concert, or just have a good photo of you in your Skwiggles T-Shirt, let me know and I’ll put your lovely face above.
See more lovely faces in Skwiggles T-Shirts right here
Our Diary
Here’s the key points from our week
Friday
I don’t know if this is even remotely funny, but I find it amusing when someone lives up to their name.
Saturday
Went to a wedding and had a great day. That is code for I drank too much and nearly did my knee in dancing.
Sunday
Because I didn’t do much today because of yesterday, here’s a sketch of Ozzy I did a while ago.
Monday
It’s me Mam’s 84th birthday next week, so while I was in Keswick I went to Theatre by the Lake to buy some tickets and said something absolutely hilarious in the process.
‘Two tickets to 39 Steps. please,’ I said.
‘That’ll be £39, please,’ replied the Ticket Person.
‘Oh, so that’s a pound for each step is it?’
The woman smiled the smile of a woman who wanted to stab me. Although original and amazing to me, I think she might have heard something similar one or two billion times.
Then she said something funny to me as I was about to pay the £39.
‘That’s each.’
Tuesday
Remember the baby wall from a while ago:
Well, I found out what its purpose is.
A woman emailed me and said ‘That’s my Dad’s wall. He’s a milkman and he used to drive his van down the footpath until the residence complained and the council built that wall to stop him.’
So not really her Dad’s wall, more a wall to stop her Dad from annoying people, but I’m happy the wall’s got purpose.
Wednesday
I picked my daughter and her friends up from Manchester Airport at 1.45 in the morning. And that is about as much fun as it sounds. Got back home at 4.45 after dropping them all off. Cumbria is a long way from anywhere. Sat in the corner and sketched this at the airport.
I’ve just started watching the Yellowstone spin-off 1923, and Harrison is the top man in it. He doesn’t look quite like this anymore. Not sure you know, but your face gets wrinkly and saggy as you get older, sorry to break that news.
Thursday
I’m always very very careful to be on my best behavior when walking down this street.
No pooing or weeing, that’s Norman, but equally applies to me, just overall good quality neighbourly conduct. Because in one of those houses, there’s one of those types who is always looking and will report you to the council if you breathe incorrectly walking passed their house. Look
Either that or she fancies Norman.
The quote of the week is from one of our customers, regarding the Mary Earps sketch.
In a world full of Kardashians be like MaryCLARE – SKWIGGLES CUSTOMER
If you have some favourite lyrics, let me know
Could be daft, meaningful, inspiring, whatever you likeArtistYour nameSubmit
Let’s continue the inspirational feel by being motivated by this small bird, who doesn’t give a flying flip about what people think. It’s good to be different, is the message, I think.
That’s it for now. Have a great week. Come back soon.
Ian and Diane
18 Aug 23
I got two done from the list this week, Buddy Holly and Joe Elliot
Photos
Thanks to Andrew at Bloodstock, Oscar looking cute and cool at the same time, Ian, photobombing and Rick with Rick. Thank you everyone, and thanks for buying from us.
If you’ve been to a concert, or just have a good photo of you in your Skwiggles T-Shirt, let me know and I’ll put your lovely face above.
See more lovely faces in Skwiggles T-Shirts right here
Our Diary
Here’s the key points from our week
Friday
Our garden is mostly fake, because I keep killing things. The only things that look good are the false ones I bought from Amazon for £5.99 and then stuck in the ground. Look:
And that’s quite a good photo, they look less realistic in real life. But I’m not going to apologise for this because I’ve had them endorsed by a flower expert. The stupidest bee in the world spent a least five minutes on the plastic flowers collecting plastic pollen and spreading it around the garden. Next year I’m expecting a good crop.
Saturday
Went for my usual Saturday morning walk in the August sunshine. Here’s Cat Bells from the other side of Derwent Water.
I tried to get Norman to go in the water in the pouring rain for the photo, he’s daft but not that daft.
Sunday
At about 9.00pm, I thought I’d start my yearly ritual by staring out of the window and saying ‘The nights are drawing in’ – and the great thing is I can do it another 124 times if I want.
Monday
My daughter is going on holiday to Greece with her friends at the end of the week and the full Boohoo website came through the letter box today. We had a fashion show and I smiled and told her she looked great. But on the inside I wanted to point out that on most of the dresses she’d forgotten to order the back. And then in the spirit of positive thinking, I was grateful it was that way round and she hadn’t forgotten to order the front.
Eyelashes, fingernails, fake tan, hair highlights. It’s going to be a busy week, and I think my daughter’s getting some things done as well.
Tuesday
I must’ve been going through a Star Wars droid phase at some point in my past, found these photos of old paintings
Wednesday
On our Facebook post today, I describe this as the rarely-seen Giant Treehog…
…and then I started thinking, well it’s massive why is it rarely seen and where would it live, and then I started thinking it’s a growth on a tree that I’ve photoshopped eyes on, so I moved on with my life.
Yes, that’s Norman in the background, he’s scared of growths on trees that I photoshop eyes on.
Thursday
I did some gardening in my shorts and got really muddy legs. I miss having muddy legs. For most of my childhood they were muddy. Don’t tell me mam about the time I went to bed after a football match without getting a bath and we had swimming at school the next day. Didn’t think it was possible to get detention for muddy legs but it is.
Since I sketched Joe Elliot this week, I can’t let the best lyrics from my favourite Def Leppard song go unquoted
Gunter glieben glauchen globenDEF LEPPARD – ROCK OF AGES
If you have some favourite lyrics, let me know
Could be daft, meaningful, inspiring, whatever you likeArtistYour nameSubmit
Traffic Chaos in the Lake District
I was held up for a full 4 minutes by Just Stop Wool protestor this week.
I had to actually get out and persuade the leader that grass tastes better at the side of the road. She went peacefully in the end.
That’s it for now. Have a great week. Come back soon.
Ian and Diane
11 Aug 23
This week’s one from the list is The Vicar of Dibley
Photos
Thanks to Mark at the Roger Water’s gig, Sue’s son-in-law, Aileen’s arm and her grandson and Lorraine off to Springsteen. Thank you everyone, you’re all brill, and thanks for buying from us.
If you’ve been to a concert, or just have a good photo of you in your Skwiggles T-Shirt, let me know and I’ll put your lovely face above.
See more lovely faces in Skwiggles T-Shirts right here
Our Diary
Here’s the key points from our week
Friday
To continue with this week’s newsletter theme about the street of poo signs (I wasn’t on that street thankfully), but I’d just picked up Norman’s poo and he was dawdling about so I shouted over to him.
‘Come on Mary.’
I call Norman a lot of things and sometimes after he’s done his business I call him Mary Ploppins.
Silly I know, but I turned round and a woman was there.
‘That’s a lovely name for a dog, my grandma was called Mary, why did you call her that?’
Then I had to explain why Norman was called Mary, which I didn’t. And now I have to call Norman Mary when I see that woman.
Saturday
We went out on a friend’s birthday party and drank too much during the day.
For all wives who might be vaguely interested in their husbands, here’s what men talk about in the pub.
1. ‘Well [insert friend’s fave football team] are rubbish, and they’ll do nothing this season.’
2. I can’t remember after that.
Sunday
Yesterday I did my hungover self a favour and told our daughter Jen, who was picking us up afterwards, not to respond to any messages from me during the day. The messages may be something like:
‘Can you pick us up at 10.30 instead of 9.30?’
‘Please pick us up at 11, please, please please.’
She picked us up at 9.30 as agreed, I still feel cack but I’m battling on like a hero as always.
Monday
If this falls over I’d be berried alive
Sorry
Tuesday
I gave you some false information a few weeks ago – the OAP romantic couple I saw when out with Norman are still together. I know you’re invested in this now, so thought I’d let you know. I saw them snogging in the car park behind the butchers. To picture the scene, imagine 9/12 weeks or Fifty Shades of Grey and then imagine the opposite.
Wednesday
Norman’s post-walk chill out
Thursday
I was rummaging around that shed you see above, and I found this picture of Maggie Smith that I painted yonks ago, so thought I’d show you it.
Apart from the above classic Vicar of Dibley ‘Shredded Tweet’ joke, I thought I’d share a couple more great lines from the series.
Geraldine: They’ve come up with a new low-fat communion wafer. It’s called “I can’t believe it’s not Jesus.
Alice: Wouldn’t it be lovely if some kittens were born with pink fur and you didn’t actually have to paint them yourself?
Alice: A painter did once ask me to pose nude for him. He was painting the kitchen at the time.THE VICAR OF DIBLEY
If you have some favourite lyrics, let me know
Could be daft, meaningful, inspiring, whatever you likeArtistYour nameSubmit
Norman insisted I take a photo right here, and he kept saying ‘If you build it they will come.’
He thought it was hilarious, don’t know what he’s going on about.
That’s it for now. Have a great week. Come back soon.
Ian and Diane
4 Aug 2023
This week’s one from the list is The Spitfire
Photos
Thanks to David, Jan on her way to a Hollywood Vampires concert, and Beth on her way to a Kiss concert. Thank you everyone, and as always, thanks for buying from us.
If you’ve been to a concert, or just have a good photo of you in your Skwiggles T-Shirt, let me know and I’ll put your lovely face above.
See more lovely faces in Skwiggles T-Shirts right here
Our Diary
Here’s the key points from our week
Friday
Being British and Cumbrian, I like to talk about the weather. Here Norman’s complaining because he’s always the one who’s naked.
Lucky for you it wasn’t the other way round.
Saturday
We went to see Mission Impossible at the fancy new cinema with reclining seats. No spoilers, but you’ll be glad to know Tom ran dead fast, he got hot-headed, he ran dead fast again, and got killed in a terrible train crash. Sorry about that, but there is some good news, part of that last sentence is incorrect.
Diane was jealous of that gizmo that makes very realistic masks, because she wants me to wear one that looks like Tom.
I’ve already mentioned my relationship/jealousy of Tom, but if you want to refresh your memory, here it is
If you really want to know what I have to go through on a daily bases, look what’s on our kitchen wall.
Sunday
I discovered this painting that I did a while ago.
It’s supposed to be a caricature version of Rod Stewart but it looks more like that guy from Pimlico Plumbers.
Monday
Remember last week I said about the frames we have hanging on our walls with no photos in them, well I’ve rectified the problem with one of them and filled it with Skwiggles sketches.
And kept the Customer Services Manager happy.
Tuesday
This is my favourite place to go.
It’s about a 30 minute uphill walk from anywhere, so you have to put a little bit of effort to get there and it would be very tranquil and relaxing if it wasn’t for a mad thing racing about.
Wednesday
We nearly always meet Norman’s friend Hank in the park on Wednesday. Norman’s had his doodaah operation, but sometimes Hank is just too sexy for him to resist (I think Norman’s gender-neutral). Don’t the youngsters call Wednesday Hump Day because it’s the middle of the week and you’re over the hump.
Norman calls it hump day for a different reason.
Thursday
Every time I see my book in the shop I drag it out of the corner of the back shelf, dust it off and bung it in a prominent position.
Here I am next to the great Hunter Davis. Note: Hunter’s is on sale, mine isn’t, that must be a good sign, mustn’t it?
If you’re in The Lakes and you see it, rescue it from the back and maybe flick through it in the shop, laughing loudly a few times and maybe say ‘absolutely brilliant (hahahaha) I’m going to buy all of these (pause to stitch up your sides) so if anyone else wants one you’d better hurry up.’
Something like that anyway, doesn’t have to be word for word.
Thank you David for sending in these Status Quo lyrics. I’ve seen Quo live but I have a confession, I’ve never heard this song before. And now I have, I’ve discovered it’s a fan favourite online. Which makes me a fake fan. Gutted. Thanks again David for enlightening me and I love the song, especially the live version.
There’s nobody on the end of my line, I’m in time but somebody’s missing
Maybe I can find a hand for my hand, if I find a well for my wishing
Be my friend, be my friend
It gets lonely on a table for two, laughing on your own can be no fun
Even people that are talking to you remind you that you’re really with no-one
Be my friend, be my friend4500 TIMES – STATUS QUO
If you have some favourite lyrics, let me know
Could be daft, meaningful, inspiring, whatever you likeArtistYour nameSubmit
This one’s for Rush fans from Rushfest this year. Thank you Ian for sending it. Look who’s in it: Terry Brown (producer of Rush’s 1st 12 albums), Nancy Peart (Neil Peart’s sister), Ian in his Neil Peart Skwiggles T Shirt, Judy Peart (Neil’s other sister) and Hugh Syme (designer of all Rush’s album covers and the famous Starman logo). Absolutely brilliant, thanks again Ian.
That’s it for now. Have a great week. Come back soon.
Ian and Diane
