How’s your algorithm? Because I’m not sure about mine. I recently joined TikTok since Steven Barlett from Dragon’s Den said I should. It’s great for your business, he said. So I signed up… …and he’s wrong. It’s not great for
s you may already know, I went to the Kiss – End of the Road tour last Saturday. Here’s me and Pete cuddling (we’d had a few drinks). As you can see we’re old now, so we didn’t go down
I suddenly turned 57 this week, not sure how that happened, because last time I looked I was 32. But I’ve had enough, and that’s why I’m writing this using my feet, sitting on the roof of my house, wearing a viking
I was walking through the woods this week and I saw a man doing something in the undergrowth. Norman ran to investigate this strange happening. So I shouted for him ‘Norman.’ The man looked round. Notice, it was the man who
I was walking with Norman this week and saw this: An old fridge had been dumped into a pond. You could call it a pond, or you could call it a dark and lonely water. I had a uneasy, deja-vue
I’m on the train right now, on my way to see Bruce Springsteen at Villa Park in Birmingham, so I’m very excited. At least I hope I’m on the train. I wrote this yesterday and the trains were still running
This week I’m not going to mention Father’s Day, because I’ve been going on about it too much in the last couple of weeks. Who cares if your father looks like this, a week on Sunday? I mean him looking like
I took a deep dive into some serious data this week, just to help you out. In 2022 retail spending on Father’s Day was estimated to be £951 million. Now I don’t expect you to spend all that at Skwiggles,
Went to see Guardians of the Galaxy last weekend, it was brill as always. But guess who’s been following me ever since. And guess who thinks he can read your thoughts and lift objects with his mind. We’ve got to
This week I hiked Hadrian’s Wall with these two. I’m the tired-looking one who looks like he’s just celebrated his 600th birthday. As for the two behind me, one is an irritating character who won’t do as he’s told and
It’s a big week coming up. Norman is 2 years old on 30th April. I know, he doesn’t look a day over 1. But it’s an important birthday because all the dog websites say a labrador should be mentally mature
Reminder: I went walking with Norman and I introduced you to a few neighbours, The Medic, Sid the tree and scared a teenager, then The Blank-Faced Man appeared out of the gloom and said something was my fault. The Blank-Faced
Reminder: I went walking with Norman and I introduced you to a few neighbours, The Medic, Sid the tree and scared a teenager, then The Blank-Faced Man appeared out of the gloom and said something was my fault. The Blank-Faced
Norman’s Walk – Feb 2023 I thought I’d give you a break from Norman’s Walk (the story), so I could tell you about Norman’s Walk (the reality). Here’s what we’ve been doing this month. Firstly, there’s been another statue unveiled
Norman’s Walk – Chapter 3 If you’ve never been attacked by a man with a blank face pulling a trolley full of rotten fruit, then let me tell you this: I hurry along the full length of the rugby pitch
Chapter 1 Reminder: I went walking with Norman and I introduced you to a few neighbours, The Medic, Sid the tree and scared a teenager, then The Blank-Faced Man appeared out of the gloom. Norman’s Walk – Chapter 2 This
Norman’s Walk – Chapter 1 I’ve had a lot of people say I should write a book about Norman’s Walks. I wasn’t sure what anyone really wanted or meant by that, but as usual, I decided to be undeterred by
Norman’s Walk – Jan 2023 A busy January walking around with Norman. It started off with a shocking discovery. On the path just down from our house, Norman found Mick Hucknall’s hair. I know, an amazing find, and not often
27 Jan 23 – Pregnant in the US Okay, anyone who’s ever been pregnant can virtually punch me in the face right now. You see, when Diane was pregnant (way back in 1999) I had a brilliant idea. I said
20 Jan 23 – Camping I’ve camped a lot over the years but there’s only one time I thought I was really going to die. I wasn’t caught in an ice storm in the Himalayas or bitten by a Jararaca
13 Jan 23 – Prince Harry Inspired by Prince Harry, I have decided to slag my family off in public for money. Look, he’s got a book to sell and 15 million pounds to make, I have T-shirts to sell
Norman’s Walk – Dec 2022 Happy New Year to everyone. I had a word with Martin Lewis for you, and look Phew. While walking with Norman in December, I discovered that global warming has finally come to Cumbria. Look what
16 Dec 22 – Last Christmas Last Christmas, no I didn’t give you my heart, but I did go totally overboard with Christmassy stories Okay George, there’s a lot of new people on the website, who may not have realised
As I’ve said a couple of times, I’m a not-so-good Catholic who hasn’t been to mass (don’t tell me mam) since this particular incident about 25 years ago. Thanks Mam. I was out drinking on Christmas Eve and got so
Norman’s Walk – Nov 2022 November’s been another fun month walking with Norman. Not sure you know, but he’s been doing great things and he’s got his own statue in the park now. It’s a bit much I know, but
Running Away from Home Thought I’d tell you about the time I ran away from home to live in a graveyard. I was about 6 and, yes, it took me a long time to grow into that head. I ran
11 Nov 22- Dog Walking Friends I thought I’d give you an update on all the friends I’ve made during my last year of dog walking. When I say friends I really mean people I bump into and occasionally try
Norman’s Walk – Oct 2022 It’s been another busy month walking with Norman. I’ve learnt a lot. For starters, I didn’t realise that one of our neighbours works at Jurassic Park. And when I saw this in the local woods
A Four-Scone Day I took me mam on a day trip to Edinburgh last week to see my daughter, Hannah. We went by train. No, we went by four trains, three lifts, two taxis, an escalator… And yes, there were
21 Oct 22 – Read this and you’ll be like the man who got run down by a train I know this will be hard to believe, but occasionally I get on Diane’s nerves. Here’s an example – she asked
14 Oct 22 – Spa Day It was our daughter’s birthday last week so we had a spa day. I haven’t been to many spa days in my life but I was excited about this one. I was going to
Norman’s Walks – Sept 2022 This month I decided to take a few photos/videos when out walking with Norman, because quite often he’s daft. And then I started noticing other stuff, which I thought you might like, so I posted
30 Sept 22 – Bin Day 2 Not sure I should be telling you this but I’m building up an extensive psychological profile of all my neighbours within about a mile radius. It’s not quite as overt as staring through
23 Sept 22 -Norfolk 2 Have you ever said (when not drunk), ‘Can you pass the salt, it’s next the pepper?’ No, neither have I until I went to this place in Norfolk. After that I couldn’t stop. ‘Sweetie, are
17 Sept 22 – Norfolk 1 Video Here’s the video of the Norfolk 1 post. Hope you like it.
16 Sept 22 – Norfolk We went to Norfolk on holiday last week, stayed in Holt, it was brill. Here’s a sketch I did when I was there. Here’s another scene. Can I say, it’s incredibly un-undulating. As a Cumbrian
Here’s us chatting about one of life’s finest moments
2 Sept 22 – Bin Day Bin day is my favourite day of the week. There is nothing better than rummaging through the fridge to find the squishy stuff and spectacularly slam-dunking it in the wheelie bin. I’ve never slam-dunked,
26 Aug 22 – Cars and Vans I’ve had a few incidents with motor vehicles over the years. I haven’t thrashed any with a twig yet, but there’s still time. I was walking down the street and a car pulled
19 Aug 22 – Florida A few years ago we sold all our internal organs and robbed the local bank to take the family to Florida. We booked all the sights, Magic Kingdom, Holywood Studios, Animal Kingdom, Universal Studios, and
12 Aug 22 – Ichthyophobia I’m not sure you know this, but Diane is ichthyophobic. This is an infliction that affects all aspects of her life: holidays, friends, Chinese restaurants, David Attenborough, Tescos – it’s serious. It all started on
5 Aug 22 – What your dog is trying to tell you Bought this at the supermarket, so I can communicate better with Norman. So I’ve read it and me and Norman are getting on great, communicating effectively late into
29 July 22 – Mumbling Americans I watched The Batman the other day. Firstly I would like to give the Caped Crusader some crime-fighting advice. I had to shine a torch at the telly to see what was going on.
22 July 22 – The Kennels This week we put Norman in the kennels for the first time. He doesn’t like it when we move his bed and he thinks running around at extreme speed will stop it from happening.
15 July 22 – Town Characters Hi Everyone, In the town where I grew up there were a lot of unusual characters, like this one. The man who tipped Lucozade down drains. This was in the days when Lucozade could only
8 July 22 – Neighbours Hi Everyone, I know everything about everyone in our neighbourhood. I’m not a curtain twitcher, I just get bored easily and exaggerate. I take Norman out about 10 every night to get rid of the
24 June 22 – Tom Cruise Hi Everyone, If you follow us on Facebook you may know it was our 30th Wedding Anniversary on Monday. Yes, a Skwiggles original as a present, Diane’s very lucky to own something worth about
17 June 22 – Norman and the Creme Egg Hi Everyone, I had another Norman related incident this week.I was walking through town, with Norman obviously (because we’re bffs), minding my own business, probably daydreaming about what I was going
3 June 22 – Platinum Jubilee Hi Everyone, I’m sure you haven’t seen enough of the Queen just yet, so here she is again. And yes, she’s wearing a Skwiggles t-shirt. I know, it was quite a shock when I
27 May 22 – Driving Lessons Hi Everyone My daughter is learning to drive. She doesn’t read this because dads are irrelevant until required, so I can say what I like. There’s a disused airfield close to where we live
